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PAGE 10

Lords Of The Pots And Pans
by [?]

“Happy, you’ll have to drive,” said Weary, his tone a command.

“Aw, gwan!” Happy Jack objected, “He rode out here all right last night–unless somebody took him up in front on the saddle, which I hain’t heard about nobody doing. A cook’s supposed to do his own driving. I betche–“

Weary went close and pointed a finger impressively. “Happy, you drive,” he said, and Happy Jack turned without a word and climbed glumly up to the seat of the mess-wagon.

“Well, are yuh coming or ain’t yuh?” he inquired of the cook in a tone surcharged with disgust.

“If you will so kindly permit, it give me great pleasure to ride with you and to make better friendship. It now occurs to me that I have not yet introduce. Gentlemen, Jacques I have the honor to be name. I am delighted to meet you and I hope for pleasant association.” The bow he gave the group was of the old school.

Big Medicine grinned suddenly and came forward. “Honest to grandma, I’m happy to know yuh!” he bellowed, and caught the cook’s hand in a grip that sent him squirming upon his toes. “These here are my friends: Happy Jack up there on the wagon, and Slim and Weary and Pink and Cal and Jack Bates and Andy Green–and there’s more scattered around here, that don’t reely count except when it comes to eating. We like you, by cripes, and we like your cookin’ fine! Now, you amble along to town and load up with the best there is–huh?” It occurred to him that his final remarks might be construed as giving orders, and he glanced at Weary and winked to show that he meant nothing serious. “So long, Jakie,” he added over his shoulder and went to where his horse waited.

Jacques–ever afterward he was known as “Jakie” to the Flying U–clambered up the front wheel and perched ingratiatingly beside Happy Jack, and they started off behind the riders for the short mile to Dry Lake. Immediately he proceeded to win Happy from his glum aloofness.

“I would say, Mr. Happy, that I should like exceeding well to be friends together,” he began purringly. “So superior a gentleman must win the admiration of the onlooker and so I could presume to question for advisement. I am experience much dexterity for cooking, yes, but I am yet so ignorant concerning the duties pertaining to camp. If the driving of these several horses transpire to pertain, I will so gladly receive the necessary instruction and endeavor to fulfil the accomplishment. Yes?”

Happy Jack, more in stupefaction at the cook’s vocabulary than anything else, turned his head and took a good look at him. And the trustful smile of Jakie went straight to the big, soft heart of him and won him completely. “Aw, gwan,” he adjured gruffly to hide his surrender. “I don’t mind driving for yuh. It ain’t that I was kicking about.”

“I thank you for the so gracious assurement. If I transgress not too greatly, I should like for inquire what is the chuck for which I am told to fill the wagon. I do not,” he added humbly, “understand yet all the language of your so glorious country, for fich I have so diligently study the books. Words I have not yet assimilated completely, and the word chuck have yet escape my knowledge.”

“Chuck,” grinned Happy Jack, “is grub.”

“Chuck, it is grub,” repeated Jakie thoughtfully. “And grub, that is–Yes?”

Happy Jack struggled mentally with the problem. “Well, grub is grub; all the stuff yuh eat is grub. Meat and flour and coffee and–“

“Ah, the light it dawns!” exclaimed Jakie joyously. “Grub it is the supply of provision fich I must obtain for camping, yes? I thank you so graciously for the information; because,” he added a bit wistfully, “that little word chuck she annoy me exceeding and make me for not sleep that I must grasp the meaning fich elude. I am now happy that I do not make the extensive blunder for one small word fich I apprehend must be a food fich I must buy and perhaps not to understand the preparation of it. Yes? It is the excellent jest at the expense of me.”