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Let’s Play King
by
Terry and Max stared, feeling empty at the stomach. They said nothing. They didn’t need to. They simultaneously doubted whether Uncle ‘Ennery had ever captured sixteen Germans at once, or been more than just engaged to the princess of the South Seas isle.
“You wouldbarge in!” complained Ginger and, inching open the door of the laundry, he whimpered, “Uncle ‘Ennery!”
Uncle ‘Ennery lifted his head, rubbed the back of his neck as though it hurt, peered through the steam at Ginger, and remarked, “Ow, it’s you, you little beggar! Get out of this! Coming around in your ‘otel uniform, making mock of your betters, and they your own relations! And now you’re in the gutter again; you’re in ragsantatters again, and I’m glad of it, I am. Get out of this!”
“I ayn’t in the gutter! I’m just on me ‘oliday,” protested Ginger.
“Yes, a fine ‘oliday, as’ll end in the workus. Get out!”
“Give me three bob to show ’im,” Ginger whispered to Terry and, displaying the money, smiling a false sugar-sweet smile, he crooned, “Me and me friends are going tramping. We’ll give you this three bob if you’ll let us sleep ’ere tonight. ”
“Let’s see the money!” demanded Uncle ‘Ennery. He turned the shillings over and over. Looking slightly disappointed that they seemed to be genuine, he grunted, “I ought to ‘orsewhip you, you young misbegotten, but I’ll let you stay. Only you goes out and gets your own supper. ”
Without further welcome, he led the three boys and Josephus among the tubs in the back room of the laundry, up an outside stairway to a chaste establishment consisting of one room (Uncle ‘Ennery was a widower and childless) with one bed, unmade, a fireplace stove, a chair and a cupboard.
“You can sleep on the floor,” he snarled. “The dog—‘e goes out in the areaway. ”
Terry looked indignant but—they were alone, fugitives, hunted by the entire British police force…. What was the penalty for kidnaping a king? Hanging, or life imprisonment? He sighed and stood drooping, a very lonely little boy.
Somewhat comforted at being taken in by his loving uncle, Ginger piped, “Cheer-o! We’ll go ‘ave a bite to eat. There’s a love-ly fried-fish shop on the corner. ”
He walked ahead of his comrades in crime, rather defiantly. Behind him, Terry whispered to Max, “I don’t believe his uncle Henry ever was a deep-sea diver!”
“No; and I don’t believe he was a sergeant major in the Bulgarian Army—hardly more than a private,” Max said.
“Or an aviator!”
“Or an African explorer!”
Ginger pretended that it didn’t matter that he had lost now the Uncle ‘Ennery whose exploits had been the one glory by which he had been able to shine beside a king. Most boisterously he ushered them into the fried-fish shop with, “If you toffs ayn’t too good for it, ’ere’s the best bloaters in London. ”
And through supper he contradicted them, laughed at their ignorance of such fundamental matters of culture as the standing of the Middlesex cricket team and the record of the eminent middleweight, Mr. Jem Blurry. So Max and Terry became refined. They were sickeningly polite. Their silence shouted that they regarded him as low.
When they had reluctantly returned to the mansion of Uncle ‘Ennery, their host was sitting on the one chair, his shoes out on the one bed, reading an evening paper. He glared at them, but the beer in which he had invested their three shillings had warmed his not over-philanthropic heart, and he condescended to Ginger, “‘Ere’s a funny go, and at your ‘otel. This king a-missing, along of a Yank actor. Goings-on!”
Now, for the many weary years of his life, Ginger had singularly failed to impress his uncle. Now he had his chance to startle this exalted relative.
“And did you ‘appen to notice who was the third boy went with ’em?” he mocked.
“A third one? Now. Ayn’t read all the article yet. ”
Ginger—while Terry and Max wildly shook their heads at him— loftily pointed out a paragraph in the paper. Uncle ‘Ennery spelled out, “It is sus-pec-ted that wif them was a pyge nymed Alf Bundock who—” He leaped up, terrified. “Bundock? Is that you, you young murdering blighter?”
Ginger laughed like the villainess making exit after tying the heroine to the circular saw.