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Well, “Robinson Crusoe” being their lay gospel and creed, not to say epistle and psalter, it was not queer that one night, when the election had gone awfully, and the men were as blue as that little porcelain Osiris of mine yonder, who is so blue that he cannot stand on his feet–it was not queer, I say, that they turned instinctively to “Robinson Crusoe” for relief.

Now, Robinson Crusoe was once in a very bad box indeed, and to comfort himself as well as he could, and to set the good against the evil, that he might have something to distinguish his case from worse, he stated impartially, like debtor and creditor, the comforts and miseries, thus:–

___________EVIL.___________________________GOOD.

I am cast upon a horrible _________ But I am alive, and not
desolate_island, void of all _____ drowned as all my hope of
recovery.__________________________ship’s company were.

I am singled out and_separated,____ But I am singled_out,
as it were, from all the world, to _too, from the_ship’s_crew
be_miserable.______________________ to be spared from_death.

And so the debtor and creditor account goes on.

Julia Hackmatack read this aloud to them–the whole of it–and they agreed, as Robinson says, not so much for their posterity as to keep their thoughts from daily poring on their trials, that for each family they would make such a balance. What might not come of it? Perhaps a partial nay, perhaps a perfect cure!

So they determined that on the instant they would go to work, and two in the smoking-room, two in the dining- room, two in George’s study, and two in the parlor, they should in the next halfhour make up their lists of good and evil. Here are the results:–

FREDERIC AND MARY INGHAM.

___________GOOD.___________________________EVIL.

We have three nice boys_______ But the_door-bell rings all
and three nice_girls._________ the time.

We have enough to eat,________ But the coal bill is awful,
drink, and wear.______________ and the Larrabee furnace_has
______________________________ given out._ The firm that made
______________________________ it has gone up, and no_castings
______________________________ can be got to mend it.

We have more books than_______ But our friends borrow_our
we can read, and do not care___books, and only return odd
to read many_newspapers._______volumes.

We have many very dear________ But we are behindhand_143
friends–enough.______________ names on our lists of calls.

We have health in our_________ But the children may_be
family.________________________sick._ The Lowndes children are.

We seem to be of some ________ But Mrs. Hogarth has_left
use in the_world._____________ Fred $200 for the_poor, and he
______________________________ is afraid he shall spend it_wrong.

______________________________ The country has gone to the
_______________________________dogs.

________________ GEORGE AND ANNA HALIBURTON.

___________GOOD.___________________________EVIL.

We have a nice home in _______ You cannot give a cup of
town, and one in Sharon, and _ coffee to a beggar but he_sends
a_sea-shore place at Little __ five hundred million tramps_to
Gau, and we have friends______ the door.
enough to fill_them.

We have some of the nicest ___ A great many people_call
children in the_world.________ whose names we have_forgotten.

We have enough to do, and ____ We have to give a party_to
not too much._________________ all our acquaintance every_year,
______________________________ which is_horrid.

Business is good_enough,______ We do not do anything we
though_complaining.___________ want to_do, and we do a_great
______________________________ deal that we do not want to do.
______________________________ George had_added,”And_there
______________________________ is no health in_us.”ButAnna
______________________________ marked that out as_wicked.

The children are all well.____ People vote as if they were
_______________________________possessed.

___________________ GEORGE AND JULIA HACKMATACK

___________GOOD.___________________________EVIL.

We have eight splendid _______ The plumbers’workalways
children._____________________ gives way at the wrong time,
______________________________ and the_plumbers’bills are awful.

We have money_enough,_________ The furnace will not heat the
though we know what to do ____ house unless the wind is at_the
with_more._____________________southwest._ None of the chimneys
______________________________ draw well.

George will not have to go ___ We hate the Kydd_School.
to Bahia next_year.___________ The master drinks and the first
______________________________ assistant lies._ But we live in
______________________________ that district; so the boys have
______________________________ to go_there.

Tom got through with scarlet__ Lucy said”commence”yesterday,
fever without being_deaf._____ Jane said”gent,”Waltersaid
______________________________”Bully for you,”and Alice said
______________________________”nobby.”And what is coming we
______________________________ do not_know.

Dr. Witherspoon has accepted _ How long any man can live
the presidency of Tiberias ___ under this government I_do
College in Alaska.____________ not know.

___________________ FELIX AND FAUSTA CARTER

___________GOOD.___________________________EVIL.

Governments are stronger__________ But as the children_grow
every_year._ Money goes farther ___bigger, their clothes_cost
than it did._______________________more.

All the boys are good and ________ But the children get_no
well._ So are the girls.__________ good at_school,_except
They are splendid_children.________measles,_whooping-cough,_and
__________________________________ s
carlet fever.

Old_Mr. Porter died last _________ But the_gas-meter_lies;
week, and Felix gets promotion____ and the gas company wants to
in the office.____________________ have it_lie.

The lost volume of Fichte_________ But the Athenaeum is_always
was left on the door-step last __ calling in its books to examine
night by some one who rang the____them, and making us say_where
bell and ran_away._ It is rather __Mr. Fred Curtis’s books are.
wet, but when it is bound will____ As if we cared.
look_nicely.

The mistress of the Arbella_______ But our drains smell
School is dead.____________________awfully, though the Board of
__________________________________ Health says they do_not.

__________________________________ We have to go to evening
__________________________________ parties among our friends,_or
__________________________________ seem stuck_up._ We hate to go,
__________________________________ and wish there were_none.__We
__________________________________ had rather come here.

___________________________________ The increasing
_________________________________ worthlessness of the franchise.

With these papers they gathered all in the study just as the clock struck nine, and, in good old Boston fashion, Silas was bringing in some hot oysters. They ate the oysters, which were good–trust Anna for that– and then the women read the papers, while the smoking men smoked and pondered.

They all recognized the gravity of the situation. Still, as Julia said, they felt better already. It was like having the doctor come: you knew the worst, and could make ready for it.

They did not discuss the statements much. They had discussed them too much in severalty. They did agree that they should be left to Felix to report upon the next evening. He was, so to speak, to post them, to strike out from each side the quantities which could be eliminated, and leave the equations so simplified that the eight might determine what they should do about it– indeed, what they could do about it.

The visitors put on their “things”–how strange that that word should once have meant “parliaments!”–kissed good-by so far as they were womanly, and went home. George Haliburton screwed down the gas, and they went to bed.

CHAPTER II

STRIKING THE BALANCE

The next night they went to see Warren at the Museum. That probably helped them. After the play they met by appointment at the Carters’. Felix read his

REPORT.

1. NUMBER.–There are twenty-one reasons for congratulation, twenty-four for regret. But of the twenty-four, four are the same; namely, the cursed political prospect of the country. Counting that as one only, there are twenty-one on each side.

2. EVIL.–The twenty-one evils may be classified thus: political, 1; social, 12; physical, 5; terrors, 3.