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“It’s nothing to do with you,” I ses. “You look arter your ship and I’ll look arter my wharf. See? If you don’t like the noise, go down in the cabin and stick your ‘ead in a biscuit-bag.”

To my surprise he took the mate by the arm and went, and I was just thinking wot a good thing it was to be a bit firm with people sometimes, when they came back dressed up in their coats and bowler-hats and climbed on to the wharf.

“Watchman!” ses the skipper, in a hoity-toity sort o’ voice, “me and the mate is going as far as Aldgate for a breath o’ fresh air. Open the gate.”

I gave him a look that might ha’ melted a ‘art of stone, and all it done to ‘im was to make ‘im laugh.

“Hurry up,” he ses. “It a’most seems to me that there’s somebody ringing the bell, and you can let them in same time as you let us out. Is it the bell, or is it my fancy, Joe?” he ses, turning to the mate.

They marched on in front of me with their noses cocked in the air, and all the time the noise at the gate got worse and worse. So far as I could make out, there was quite a crowd outside, and I stood there with the key in the lock, trembling all over. Then I unlocked it very careful, and put my hand on the skipper’s arm.

“Nip out quick,” I ses, in a whisper.

“I’m in no hurry,” ses the skipper. “Here! Halloa, wot’s up?”

It was like opening the door at a theatre, and the fust one through was that woman, shoved behind by the potman. Arter ‘im came a car-man, two big ‘ulking brewers’ draymen, a little scrap of a woman with ‘er bonnet cocked over one eye, and a couple of dirty little boys.

“Wot is it?” ses the skipper, shutting the wicket behind ’em. “A beanfeast?”

“This lady wants her ‘usband,” ses the pot-man, pointing at me. “He run away from her nine years ago, and now he says he ‘as never seen ‘er before. He ought to be ‘ung.”

“Bill,” ses the skipper, shaking his silly ‘ead at me. “I can ‘ardly believe it.”

“It’s all a pack o’ silly lies,” I ses, firing up. “She’s made a mistake.”

“She made a mistake when she married you,” ses the thin little woman. “If I was in ‘er shoes I’d take ‘old of you and tear you limb from limb.”

“I don’t want to hurt ‘im, ma’am,” ses the other woman. “I on’y want him to come ‘ome to me and my five. Why, he’s never seen the youngest, little Annie. She’s as like ‘im as two peas.”

“Pore little devil,” ses the carman.

“Look here!” I ses, “you clear off. All of you. ‘Ow dare you come on to my wharf? If you aren’t gone in two minutes I’ll give you all in charge.”

“Who to?” ses one of the draymen, sticking his face into mine. “You go ‘ome to your wife and kids. Go on now, afore I put up my ‘ands to you.”

“That’s the way to talk to ‘im,” ses the pot-man, nodding at ’em.

They all began to talk to me then and tell me wot I was to do, and wot they would do if I didn’t. I couldn’t get a word in edgeways. When I reminded the mate that when he was up in London ‘e always passed himself off as a single man, ‘e wouldn’t listen; and when I asked the skipper whether ‘is pore missus was blind, he on’y went on shouting at the top of ‘is voice. It on’y showed me ‘ow anxious most people are that everybody else should be good.

I thought they was never going to stop, and, if it ‘adn’t been for a fit of coughing, I don’t believe that the scraggy little woman could ha’ stopped. Arter one o’ the draymen ‘ad saved her life and spoilt ‘er temper by patting ‘er on the back with a hand the size of a leg o’ mutton, the carman turned to me and told me to tell the truth, if it choked me.