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“Oh! dear! Kitty!” she exclaimed, panting for breath, and looking as pale as a ghost, “have you seen any thing of Mr. W–, this morning?”

“Och! no. But what ails ye? Ye’re as white as a shate?”

“Oh! mercy! Kitty. You wouldn’t believe it, but there’s a monstrous negro in my room!”

“Gracious me! Mrs. W–, a nager?”

“Yes, indeed, Kitty!” returned Mrs. W–, trembling in every limb. “And worse and worse, he’s in my bed! I just ‘woke up and thought it was Mr. W–by my side But, when I looked over, I saw instead of his face, one as black as the stove. Mercy on me! I was frightened almost to death.”

“Is he aslape?” asked Kitty.

“Yes, sound asleep and snoring. Oh! dear! What shall we do? Where in the world is Mr. W–? I’m afraid this negro has murdered him.”

“Och! the blasted murtherin’ thafe!” exclaimed Kitty, her organ of combativeness, which was very large, becoming terribly excited. “Get into mistress’s bed, and the leddy there herself, the omadhoun! The black, murtherin’ thafe of a villain!”

And Kitty, thinking of no danger to herself, and making no calculation of consequences, seized a stout hickory clothes pole that stood in one corner of the kitchen, and went up stairs like a whirlwind, banging the pole against the door, balusters, or whatever came in its way. The noise roused W–from his sleep, and he raised up in bed just as Kitty entered the room.

“Oh! you murtherin’ thafe of a villain!” shouted Kitty, as she caught sight of his black face, pitching into him with her pole, and sweeping off his night-cap, at the imminent risk of taking his head with it.

“Hallo!” he cried, not at all liking this strange proceeding, “are you mad?”

“Mad is it, ye thafe!” retorted Kitty, who did not recognize the voice, and taking a surer aim this time with her pole, brought him a tremendous blow alongside of the head, which knocked him senseless.

Mrs. W–who was at the bottom of the stairs, heard her husband’s exclamation, and, knowing his voice, came rushing up, and entered the room in time to see Kitty’s formidable weapon come with terrible force against his head. Before the blow could be repeated, for Kitty, ejaculating her “murtherin’ thafe of a villain!” had lifted the pole again, Mrs. W–threw her arms around her neck, and cried, “Don’t, don’t, Kitty, for mercy’s sake!” It’s Mr. W–, and you’ve killed him!”

“Mr. W–indade!” retorted Kitty, indignantly, struggling to free herself. “Is Mr. W–a thafe of a nager, ma’am?”

But even Kitty’s eyes, as soon as they took the pains to look more closely, saw that it was indeed all as the mistress had said. W–had fallen over on his face, and his head and white neck were not to be mistaken.

The pole dropped from Kitty’s hands, and, with the exclamation, “Och! murther!” she turned and shot from the room, with as good a will as she had entered it.

The blow which W–received was severe, breaking through the flesh and bruising and lacerating his ear badly. He recovered very soon, however, and, as he arose up, caught sight of himself in a looking glass that hung opposite. We may be sure that it took all parties, in this exciting and almost tragical affair, some time to understand exactly what was the matter. W–‘s recollection of the loud merriment that had driven him from the “Black Horse” on the previous night, when it revived, as it did pretty soon, explained all to him, and set him to talking in a most unchristian manner.

Poor Kitty was so frightened at what she had done that she gathered up her “duds” and fled instanter, and was never again seen in that neighborhood.

As for W–, he was cured of his nocturnal visits to the “Black Horse,” and his love of whisky toddy. Some months afterwards he espoused the temperance cause, and I’ve heard him tell the tale myself, many a time, and laugh heartily at the figure he must have cut, when Kitty commenced beating him for a “thafe of a nager.”