FullReads

“The old Captain by this time owned the car. He was not only an official, he was a host, and he did the honors as if he were in his own house and we were his guests; all was done so quietly and unobtrusively, too; he pulled up a blind here, and drew one down there, just a few inches, ‘to give you a little more light on your book, sir’;–‘to shut out a little of the glare, madam–reading on the cars is a little more trying to the eyes than one is apt to fancy.’ He stopped to lean over and tell you that if you looked out of your window you would see what he thought one of the prettiest views in the world; or to mention the fact that on the right was one of the most celebrated old places in the State, a plantation which had once belonged to Colonel So-and-So, ‘one of the most remarkable men of his day, sir.’

“His porter, Nicholas, was his admirable second; not a porter at all, but a body-servant; as different from the ordinary Pullman-car porter as light from darkness. In fact, it turned out that he had been an old servant of the Captain’s. I happened to speak of him to the Captain, and he said: ‘Yes, sir, he’s a very good boy; I raised him, or rather, my father did; he comes of a good stock; plenty of sense and know their places. When I came on the road they gave me a mulatto fellow whom I couldn’t stand, one of these young, new, “free-issue” some call them, sir, I believe; I couldn’t stand him, I got rid of him.’ I asked him what was the trouble. ‘Oh! no trouble at all, sir; he just didn’t know his place, and I taught him. He could read and write a little–a negro is very apt to think, sir, that if he can write he is educated–he could write, and thought he was educated; he chewed a toothpick and thought he was a gentleman. I soon taught him better. He was impertinent, and I put him off the train. After that I told them that I must have my own servant if I was to remain with them, and I got Nick. He is an excellent boy (he was about fifty-five). The black is a capital servant, sir, when he has sense, far better than the mulatto.’

“I became very intimate with the old fellow. You could not help it. He had a way about him that drew you out. I told him I was going to New Orleans to pay a visit to friends there. He said, ‘Got a sweetheart there?’ I was rather taken aback; but I told him, ‘Yes.’ He said he knew it as soon as I spoke to him on the platform. He asked me who she was, and I told him her name. He said to me, ‘Ah! you lucky dog.’ I told him I did not know that I was not most unlucky, for I had no reason to think she was going to marry me. He said, ‘You tell her I say you’ll be all right.’ I felt better, especially when the old chap said, ‘I’ll tell her so myself.’ He knew her. She always travelled with him when she came North, he said.

“I did not know at all that I was all right; in fact, I was rather low down just then about my chances, which was the only reason I was so anxious to go to New Orleans, and I wanted just that encouragement and it helped me mightily. I began to think Christmas on the cars wasn’t quite so bad after all. He drew me on, and before I knew it I had told him all about myself. It was the queerest thing; I had no idea in the world of talking about my matters. I had hardly ever spoken of her to a soul; but the old chap had a way of making you feel that he would be certain to understand you, and could help you. He told me about his own case, and it wasn’t so different from mine. He lived in Virginia before the war; came from up near Lynchburg somewhere; belonged to an old family there, and had been in love with his sweetheart for years, but could never make any impression on her. She was a beautiful girl, he said, and the greatest belle in the country round. Her father was one of the big lawyers there, and had a fine old place, and the stable was always full of horses of the young fellows who used to be coming to see her, and ‘she used to make me sick, I tell you,’ he said, ‘I used to hate ’em all; I wasn’t afraid of ’em; but I used to hate a man to look at her; it seemed so impudent in him; and I’d have been jealous if she had looked at the sun. Well, I didn’t know what to do. I’d have been ready to fight ’em all for her, if that would have done any good, but it wouldn’t; I didn’t have any right to get mad with ’em for loving her, and if I had got into a row she’d have sent me off in a jiffy. But just then the war came on, and it was a Godsend to me. I went in first thing. I made up my mind to go in and fight like five thousand furies, and I thought maybe that would win her, and it did; it worked first-rate. I went in as a private, and I got a bullet through me in about six months, through my right lung, that laid me off for a year or so; then I went back and the boys made me a lieutenant, and when the captain was made a major, I was made captain. I was offered something higher once or twice, but I thought I’d rather stay with my company; I knew the boys, and they knew me, and we had got sort of used to each other–to depending on each other, as it were. The war fixed me all right, though. When I went home that first time my wife had come right around, and as soon as I was well enough we were married. I always said if I could find that Yankee that shot me I’d like to make him a present. I found out that the great trouble with me had been that I had not been bold enough; I used to let her go her own way too much, and seemed to be afraid of her. I WAS afraid of her, too. I bet that’s your trouble, sir: are you afraid of her?’ I told him I thought I was. ‘Well, sir,’ he said, ‘it will never do; you mustn’t let her think that–never. You cannot help being afraid of her, for every man is that; but it is fatal to let her know it. Stand up, sir, stand up for your rights. If you are bound to get down on your knees–and every man feels that he is–don’t do it; get up and run out and roll in the dust outside somewhere where she can’t see you. Why, sir,’ he said, ‘it doesn’t do to even let her think she’s having her own way; half the time she’s only testing you, and she doesn’t really want what she pretends to want. Of course, I’m speaking of before marriage; after marriage she always wants it, and she’s going to have it, anyway, and the sooner you find that out and give in, the better. You must consider this, however, that her way after marriage is always laid down to her with reference to your good. She thinks about you a great deal more than you do about her, and she’s always working out something that is for your advantage; she’ll let you do some things as you wish, just to make you believe you are having your own way, but she’s just been pretending to think otherwise, to make you feel good.’