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Hot Potatoes
by
“Jane,” she inquired, “are those potatoes ready?”
“Potatoes?” exclaimed Mr Swann.
“Yes, hot potatoes,” said Mrs Swann, tartly. “I’m going to run up with them by car to Mrs Vernon’s. I can slip them quietly over to Gil. They keep your hands warm better than anything. Don’t I remember when I was a child! I shall leave Mrs Vernon’s immediately, of course, but perhaps you’d better give me my ticket and I will meet you at the hall. Don’t you think it’s the best plan, John?”
“As you like,” said Mr Swann, with the force of habit.
He was supreme in most things, but in the practical details of their son’s life and comfort she was supreme. Her decision in such matters had never been questioned. Mr Swann had a profound belief in his wife as a uniquely capable and energetic woman. He was tremendously loyal to her, and he sternly inculcated the same loyalty to her in Gilbert.
V
Just as the car had stopped at the end of the street for Gilbert and his violoncello, so–more than an hour later–it stopped for Mrs Swann and her hot potatoes.
They were hot potatoes–nay, very hot potatoes–of a medium size, because Mrs Swann’s recollections of youth had informed her that if a potato is too large one cannot get one’s fingers well around it, and if it is too small it cools somewhat rapidly. She had taken two, not in the hope that Gilbert would be able to use two at once, for one cannot properly nurse either a baby or a ‘cello with two hands full of potatoes, but rather to provide against accident. Besides, the inventive boy might after all find a way of using both simultaneously, which would be all the better for his playing at the concert, and hence all the better for the success of the Musical Festival.
It never occurred to Mrs Swann that she was doing anything in the least unusual. There she was, in her best boots, and her best dress, and her best hat, and her sealskin mantle (not easily to be surpassed in the town), and her muff to match (nearly), and concealed in the muff were the two very hot potatoes. And it did not strike her that women of fashion like herself, wives of secretaries of flourishing companies, do not commonly go about with hot potatoes concealed on their persons. For she was a self-confident woman, and after a decision she did not reflect, nor did she heed minor consequences. She was always sure that what she was doing was the right and the only thing to do. And, to give her justice, it was; for her direct, abrupt common sense was indeed remarkable. The act of climbing up into the car warned her that she must be skilful in the control of these potatoes; one of them nearly fell out of the right end of her muff as she grasped the car rail with her right hand. She had to let go and save the potato, and begin again, while the car waited. The conductor took her for one of those hesitating, hysterical women who are the bane of car conductors. “Now, missis!” he said. “Up with ye!” But she did not care what manner of woman the conductor took her for.
The car was nearly full of people going home from their work, of people actually going in a direction contrary to the direction of the Musical Festival. She sat down among them, shocked by this indifference to the Musical Festival. At the back of her head had been an idea that all the cars for Hanbridge would be crammed to the step, and all the cars from Hanbridge forlorn and empty. She had vaguely imagined that the thoughts of a quarter of a million of people would that evening be centred on the unique Musical Festival. And she was shocked also by the conversation–not that it was in the slightest degree improper–but because it displayed no interest whatever in the Musical Festival. And yet there were several Festival advertisements adhering to the roof of the car. Travellers were discussing football, soap, the weather, rates, trade; travellers were dozing; travellers were reading about starting prices; but not one seemed to be occupied with the Musical Festival. “Nevertheless,” she reflected with consoling pride, “if they knew that our Gilbert was playing ‘cello in the orchestra and dining at this very moment with Mr Millwain, some of them would be fine and surprised, that they would!” No one would ever have suspected, from her calm, careless, proud face, that such vain and two-penny thoughts were passing through her head. But the thoughts that do pass through the heads of even the most common-sensed philosophers, men and women, are truly astonishing.