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“Share expenses equally?” was all the wife could say. “Do you expect me to pay you, then?”

“Yes, of course, if we are to be on a footing of equality. I pay for half of your and the children’s support. Or do you want me to pay the whole? Very well, that would mean that I should have to pay you 4050 dollars plus 1000 dollars for my board. But I pay separately for rent, food, light, wood and servants’ wages. What do I get for my three dollars a day for board? The preparation of the food? Nothing else but that for 4050 dollars? Now, if I subtract really half of this sum, that is to say, my share of the expenses, 2025 dollars, then the preparation of my food costs me 2025 dollars. But I have already paid the cook for doing it; how, then, can I be expected to pay 2025 dollars, plus 1000 dollars for food?”

“I don’t know.”

“Neither do I. But I know that I owe you nothing after paying for the whole of your support, the children’s support and the servants’ support; the servants who do your work, which, in your opinion, is equal, or superior, to mine. But even if your work should really be worth more, you must remember that you have another five hundred dollars in addition to the household expenses, while I have nothing.”

“I repeat that I don’t understand your figures!”

“Neither do I. Perhaps we had better abandon the idea of the boarding-house. Let’s put down the debit and credit of the establishment. Here’s the account, if you’d like to see it.”

To Mrs. Blackwood for assistance in the house, and to Mrs. Blackwood’s cook and nursemaid:

 

 Rent and maintenance            1000 dollars
 

 Clothes                   500   "
 

 Amusements                 100   "
 

 Pin money (by cash)             500   "
 

 Her children's maintenance         1200   "
 

 Her children's education          600   "
 

 On account of the maids who do her
 

 work                    850   "
 

4570 dollars

Paid M. Blackwood, Wharfinger

“Oh! It’s too bad of you to worry your wife with bills!”

“With counter-bills! And even that one you need not pay, for I pay all bills.”

The wife crumpled up the paper.

“Am I to pay for your children’s education, too?”

“No, I will, and I shall, and I will also pay for your children’s education. You shall not pay one single farthing for mine. Is that being on a footing of equality? But I shall deduct the sum for the maintenance of my children and servants: then you will still have 2100 dollars for the assistance you give to my servants. Do you want any more bills?”

She wanted no more; never again.