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“Power! Haven’t I made them eat out of my hand? Look at that ass–glad to crawl in here and nibble a crust from my table to-night! Ass!” He had halted for a second in front of the manager, but resumed his pacing with a mutter of subterranean thunder: “Mounet-Sully!”

“Hasn’t the public got a mind?” cried Canby. “Doesn’t the public understand that a good play might be ruined by these scoundrels?”

Old Tinker returned his chartreuse glass to the case whence it came, a miniature sedan chair in silver and painted silk. “The public?” he said. “I’ve never been able to find out what that was. Just about the time I decided it was a trained sheep it turned out to be a cyclone. You think it’s intelligent, and it plays the fool; you decide it’s a fool, and it turns out to know more than you do. You make love to it, and it may sidle up and kiss you–or give you a good, hard kick!”

“But if we make this a good play–“

“It won’t be a play at all,” said Tinker, “unless the public thinks it’s a good one. A play isn’t something you read; it’s something actors do on a stage; and they can’t afford to do it unless the public pays to watch ’em. If it won’t buy tickets, you haven’t got a play; you’ve only got some typewriting.”

Canby glanced involuntarily at the blue-covered manuscript he had placed upon a table beside him. It had a guilty look.

“I get confused,” he said. “If the public’s so flighty, why does it take so much stock in what these wolves print about a play?”

“Print. That’s it,” old Tinker answered serenely. “Write your opinion in a letter or say it with your mouth, and it doesn’t amount to anything. Print’s different. You see some nonsense about yourself in a newspaper, and you think I’m an idiot for believing it. But you read nonsense about me, and you believe it. You don’t stop and think; ‘That’s a lie; he isn’t that sort of a man.’ No. You just wonder why I’m such a darn fool.”

“Then these cannibals have got us where–“

“Dotage!” Talbot Potter broke in, halting under the chandelier. “Tinker’s reached his dotage!” He levelled a denouncing forefinger at the manager. “Do you mean to tell me that if I decide to go on with Mr. Canby’s play any critic or combination or cabal of critics can keep it from being a success? Then I tell you, you’re in your dotage! For one point, if I play this part they’re going to say it’s a big thing; I don’t mean the play, of course, because you must know, yourself, Mr. Canby, we could bribe them into calling it a strong play. We know it isn’t, and they’ll know it isn’t. What I mean is the characterization of ‘Roderick Hanscom.’ I tell you, if I do it, they’re going to call it a big thing. They aren’t all maniacs about everything made in France, thank heaven! Rostand! Ass! I’m not playing parts with a clothespin on the end of my nose!” And again he mimicked the departed visitor: “‘This for my stirrup-cup: you cable Rostand tomorrow.’ My soul! Does he think I want to play CHICKENS?”

Sulphurously, he resumed his pacing of the floor.

Old Tinker seemed unaffected by this outburst, but for that matter he seemed unaffected by anything. His dead gaze followed his employer’s to-and-fro striding as a cat’s follows a pendulum, but without the cat’s curiosity about a pendulum. He never interrupted when Potter was speaking; and Canby noticed that whenever Potter talked at any length Tinker looked thoughtful and distant, like a mechanic so accustomed to the whirr and thunder of the machine-shop that he may indulge in reveries there. After a moment or two the old fellow ceased to follow the pendulum stride, and turned to the playwright.

“I’ll tell you the two surest ways to make what you call the public like a play, Mr. Canby,” he said. “Nothing is sure, but these are the nearest to it. Make ’em laugh. I mean, make ’em laugh after they get home, or the next day in the office, any time they get to thinking about it. The other way is to get two actors for your lovers that the audience, young and old, can’t help falling in love with; a young actor that the females in the audience think they’d like to marry, and a young actress that the males all think they’d like to marry. It doesn’t matter much about the writing; just have something interfere between them from eight-fifteen until along about twenty-five minutes after ten. The two lovers don’t necessarily have to know much about acting, either, though of course it’s better if they happen to. The best stage-lover I ever knew, and the one that played in the most successes, did happen to understand acting thor–“