PAGE 6
Gettin’ Back On Dave Regan
by
“All right,” says Dave, brightenin’ up. “It was a dirty, mean trick anyway to play on a cove; but I’ll go up an’ see her.” An’ he went there ‘n’ then.
An’ about fifteen minutes arterwards he comes boltin’ back from the house one way an’ his horse the other. The horse acted as if it had a big scare, an’ so did Dave. Billy went an’ ketched Dave’s horse for him, an’ I got Dave a towel to wipe the dirty dish-water off of his face an’ out of his hair an’ collar, an’ I give him a piece of soap to rub on the places where he’d been scalded.
“Why, the woman must be ravin’ mad,” I says. “Whatever did yer say to her this time, Dave? Yer allers gettin’ inter hot water with her.”
“I didn’t say nothin’,” says Dave. “I jest went up laughin’ like, an’ says, ‘How are yer, Mrs Hardwick?’ an’ she ups an’ lets me have a dish of dirty wash-up water, an’ then on top of that she let fly with a dipper of scaldin’-hot, greasy water outer the boiler. She’s gone clean ravin’ mad, I think.”
“She’s as mad as a hatter, right enough, Dave,” says Billy Grimshaw. “Don’t you go there no more, Dave, it ain’t safe.” An’ we lent Dave a hat an’ a clean shirt, an’ he went on inter town. “You ought to have humoured her,” says Billy, as Dave rode away. “You ought to have told her to put a wet bag over her chimbly an’ hang the fish inside to smoke.” But Dave was too stunned to ketch on. He went on inter the town an’ got on a howlin’ spree. An’ while he was soberin’ up the thing began to dawn on him. An’ the nex’ time he met Billy they had a fight. An’ Dave got another woman to speak to Mrs Hardwick, an’ Mrs Hardwick ketched young Tommy goin’ past her place one day an’ bailed him up an’ scared the truth out of him.
“Look here!” she says to him, “I want the truth, the whole truth, an’ nothin’ but the truth about them fish, an’ if I don’t get it outer you I’ll wring yer young neck for tryin’ to poison me, an’ save yer from the gallust!” she says to Tommy.
So he told her the whole truth, swelp him, an’ got away; an’ he respected Mrs Hardwick arter that.
An’ next time we come past with the teams we seen Dave’s horse hangin’ up outside Mrs Hardwick’s, an’ we went some miles further along the road an’ camped in a new place where we’d be more comfortable. An’ ever arter that we used to always whip up an’ drive past her place as if we didn’t know her.
[The end]
————————————–
Some definitions and Australian slangs:
anabranch: A bend in a river that has been cut through by the stream. The main current now runs straight, the anabranch diverges and then rejoins. See billabong.
Barcoo-rot. “Persistent ulceration of the skin, chiefly on the hands, and often originating in abrasions”. (Morris, Australian English). Barcoo is a river in Queensland.
billabong. Based on an aboriginal word. Sometimes used for an anabranch, but more often used for one that, in dry season or droughts especially, is cut off at either or both ends from the main stream. It is often just a muddy pool, and may indeed dry up completely.
blackfellow: condescending for Australian Aboriginal
blackleg: someone who is employed to cross a union picket line to break a workers’ strike. As Molly Ivins said, she was brought up on the three great commandments: do not lie; do not steal; never cross a picket line. Also scab.
blanky or — : Fill in your own favourite word. Usually however used for “bloody”–see crimson/gory.
blooming: actually used in speech instead of “bloody” (see crimson).