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Georgina’s Reasons
by
“He’s in the navy. He has just come back from a long cruise.”
Mr. Hoy shook hands,–Benyon gave him his before he knew it,–said he was very happy, smiled, looked at Benyon from head to foot, then at Georgina, then round the room, then back at Benyon again,–at Benyon, who stood there, without sound or movement, with a dilated eye, and a pulse quickened to a degree of which Mr. Roy could have little idea. Georgina made some remark about their sitting down, but William Roy replied that he had n’t time for that,–if Captain Benyon would excuse him. He should have to go straight into the library, and write a note to send back to his office, where, as he just remembered, he had neglected to give, in leaving the place, an important direction.
“You can wait a moment, surely,” Georgina said. “Captain Benyon wants so much to see you.”
“Oh, yes, my dear; I can wait a minute, and I can come back.”
Benyon saw, accordingly, that he was waiting, and that Georgina was waiting too. Each was waiting for him to say something, though they were waiting for different things. Mr. Roy put his hands behind him, balanced himself on his toes, hoped that Captain Benyon had enjoyed his cruise,–though he should n’t care much for the navy himself,–and evidently wondered at the stolidity of his wife’s visitor. Benyon knew he was speaking, for he indulged in two or three more observations, after which he stopped. But his meaning was not present to our hero. This personage was conscious of only one thing, of his own momentary power,–of everything that hung on his lips; all the rest swam before him; there was vagueness in his ears and eyes. Mr. Roy stopped, as I say, and there was a pause, which seemed to Benyon of tremendous length. He knew, while it lasted, that Georgina was as conscious as himself that he felt his opportunity, that he held it there in his hand, weighing it noiselessly in the palm, and that she braved and scorned, or, rather, that she enjoyed, the danger. He asked himself whether he should be able to speak if he were to try, and then he knew that he should not, that the words would stick in his throat, that he should make sounds that would dishonor his cause. There was no real choice or decision, then, on Benyon’s part; his silence was after all the same old silence, the fruit of other hours and places, the stillness to which Georgina listened, while he felt her eager eyes fairly eat into his face, so that his cheeks burned with the touch of them. The moments stood before him in their turn; each one was distinct. “Ah, well,” said Mr. Roy, “perhaps I interrupt,–I ‘ll just dash off my note” Benyon knew that he was rather bewildered, that he was making a pretext, that he was leaving the room; knew presently that Georgina again stood before him alone.
“You are exactly the man I thought you!” she announced, as joyously as if she had won a bet.
“You are the most horrible woman I can imagine. Good God! if I had had to live with you!” That is what he said to her in answer.
Even at this she never flushed; she continued to smile in triumph. “He adores me–but what’s that to you? Of course you have all the future,” she went on; “but I know you as if I had made you!”
Benyon reflected a moment “If he adores you, you are all right. If our divorce is pronounced, you will be free, and then he can marry you properly, which he would like ever so much better.”
“It’s too touching to hear you reason about it. Fancy me telling such a hideous story–about myself–me–me!” And she touched her breasts with her white fingers.
Benyon gave her a look that was charged with all the sickness of his helpless rage. “You–you!” he repeated, as he turned away from her and passed through the door which Mr. Roy had left open.