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Jeff was too dejected to be stung even by this unexpected attack. He merely said, dolorously:

“Well, how the deuce can it be done?”

“Make her, sir–make her,” cried the Major. “Coerce her–compel her.” The old fellow was in his element. He shook his grizzled head, and brought his hollowed hands together with sounding emphasis.

Jeff suggested that perhaps she might be impregnable, but the old fellow affirmed that no woman was this; that no fortress was too strong to be carried; that it all depended on the assailant and the vehemence of the assault; and if one did not succeed, another would. The young man brightened. His mentor, however, dashed his rising hopes by saying: “But mark this, sir, no coward can succeed. Women are rank cowards themselves, and they demand courage in their conquerors. Do you think a woman will marry a man who trembles before her? By Jove, sir! He must make her tremble!”

Jeff admitted dubiously that this sounded like wisdom. The Major burst out, “Wisdom, sir! It is the wisdom of Solomon, who had a thousand wives!”

From this time the Major constituted himself Jeff’s ally, and was ready to take the field on his behalf against any and all comers. Therefore, when he came into the hall one day when Rose was at the piano, running her fingers idly over the keys, whilst Lawrence was leaning over her talking, he exclaimed:

“Hello! what treason’s this? I’ll tell Jeff. He was consulting me only yesterday about–“

Lawrence muttered an objurgation; but Rose wheeled around on the piano-stool and faced him.

–“Only yesterday about the best mode of winning–” He stopped tantalizingly.

“Of winning what? I am so interested.” She rose and stood just before him with a cajoling air. The Major shut his mouth tight.

“I’m as dumb as an oyster. Do you think I would betray my friend’s confidence–for nothing? I’m as silent as the oracle of Delphi.”

Lawrence looked anxious, and Rose followed the old man closely.

“I’ll pay you anything.”

“I demand payment in coin that buys youth from age.” He touched his lips, and catching Rose leaned slowly forward and kissed her.

“Now, tell me–what did he say? A bargain’s a bargain,” she laughed as Lawrence almost ground his teeth.

“Well, he said,–he said, let me see, what did he say?” paltered the Major. “He said he could not get a girl he loved to have him.”

“Oh! did he say that?” She was so much interested that she just knew that Lawrence half stamped his foot.

“Yes, he said just that, and I told him–“

“Well,–what did you say?”

“Oh! I did not bargain to tell what I told him. I received payment only for betraying his confidence. If you drive a bargain I will drive one also.”

Rose declared that he was the greatest old screw she ever knew, but she paid the price, and waited.

“Well?–“

“‘Well?’ Of course, I told him ‘well.’ I gave him the best advice a man ever received. A lawyer would have charged him five hundred dollars for it. I’m an oracle on heart-capture.”

Rose laughingly declared she would have to consult him herself, and when the Major told her to consult only her mirror, gave him a courtesy and wished he would teach some young men of her acquaintance to make such speeches. The old fellow vowed, however, that they were unteachable; that he would as soon expect to teach young moles.

IV.

It was not more than a half hour after this when George Washington came in and found the Major standing before the long mirror, turning around and holding his coat back from his plump sides so as to obtain a fair view of his ample dimensions.

“George Washington,” said he.

“Suh.”

“I’m afraid I’m growing a little too stout.”

George Washington walked around and looked at him with the critical gaze of a butcher appraising a fat ox.

“Oh! nor, suh, you aint, not to say too stout,” he finally decided as the result of this inspection, “you jis gittin’ sort o’ potely. Hit’s monsus becomin’ to you.”