FullReads

After a sufficient period had elapsed for a servant crossing the yard to call to another, who sent a third to summon George, and for that functionary to take a hasty potation from a decanter as he passed through the dining-room at his usual stately pace, he appeared at the door.

“Did you call, suh?” he inquired, with that additional dignity which bespoke his recourse to the sideboard as intelligibly as if he had brought the decanters in his hand. “Did I call!” cried the Major, without looking up. “Why don’t you come when you hear me?”

George Washington steadied himself on his feet, and assumed an aggrieved expression.

“Do you suppose I can wait for you to drink all the whiskey in my sideboard? Are you getting deaf-drunk as well as blind-drunk?” he asked, still writing industriously.

George Washington gazed up at his old master in the picture on the wall, and shook his head sadly.

“Nor, suh, Marse Nat. You know I ain’ drink none to git drunk. I is a member o’ de church. I is full of de sperit.”

The Major, as he blotted his paper, assured him that he knew he was much fuller of it than were his decanters, and George Washington was protesting further, when his master rose, and addressing Jeff as the challenger, began to read. He had prepared a formal cartel, and all the subsequent and consequential documents which appear necessary to a well-conducted and duly bloodthirsty meeting under the duello, and he read them with an impressiveness which was only equalled by the portentious dignity of George Washington. As he stood balancing himself, and took in the solemn significance of the matter, his whole air changed; he raised his head, struck a new attitude, and immediately assumed the position of one whose approval of the affair was of the utmost moment.

The Major stated that he was glad that they had decided to use the regular duelling pistols, not only as they were more convenient–he having a very fine, accurate pair–but as they were smooth bore and carried a good, large ball, which made a clean, pretty hole, without tearing. “Now,” he explained kindly to Lawrence, “the ball from one of these infernal rifled concerns goes gyrating and tearing its way through you, and makes an orifice like a posthole.” He illustrated his meaning with a sweeping spiral motion of his clenched fist.

Lawrence grew a shade whiter, and wondered how Jeff felt and looked, whilst Jeff set his teeth more firmly as the Major added blandly that “no gentleman wanted to blow another to pieces like a Sepoy mutineer.”

George Washington’s bow of exaggerated acquiescence drew the Major’s attention to him.

“George Washington, are my pistols clean?” he asked.

“Yes, suh, clean as yo’ shut-front,” replied George Washington, grandly.

“Well, clean them again.”

“Yes, suh,” and George was disappearing with ponderous dignity, when the Major called him, “George Washington.”

“Yes, suh.”

“Tell carpenter William to come to the porch. His services may be needed,” he explained to Lawrence, “in case there should be a casualty, you know.”

“Yes, suh.” George Washington disappeared. A moment later he reopened the door.

“Marse Nat.”

“Sir.”

“Shall I send de overseer to dig de graves, suh?”

Lawrence could not help exclaiming, “Good—-!” and then checked himself; and Jeff gave a perceptible start.

“I will attend to that,” said the Major, and George Washington went out with an order from Jeff to take the box to the office.

The Major laid the notes on his desk and devoted himself to a brief eulogy on the beautiful symmetry of “the Code,” illustrating his views by apt references to a number of instances in which its absolute impartiality had been established by the instant death of both parties. He had just suggested that perhaps the two young men might desire to make some final arrangements, when George Washington reappeared, drunker and more imposing than before. In place of his ordinary apparel he had substituted a yellowish velvet waistcoat and a blue coat with brass buttons, both of which were several sizes too large for him, as they had for several years been stretched over the Major’s ample person. He carried a well-worn beaver hat in his hand, which he never donned except on extraordinary occasions.