PAGE 11
Four Winds
by
“Because I do not think it would do you any good to go if you didn’t want to,” said Alan gravely. “Souls should not be rudely handled any more than bodies.”
She looked at him reflectively, her finger denting her chin in a meditative fashion she had.
“You are not at all like Mr. Strong. He always scolded me, when he got a chance, for not going to church. I would have hated him if it had been worthwhile. I told him one day that I was nearer to God under these pines than I could be in any building fashioned by human hands. He was very much shocked. But I don’t want you to misunderstand me. Father does not go to church because he does not believe there is a God. But I know there is. Mother taught me so. I have never gone to church because Father would not allow me, and I could not go now in Rexton where the people talk about me so. Oh, I know they do–you know it, too–but I do not care for them. I know I’m not like other girls. I would like to be but I can’t be–I never can be–now.”
There was some strange passion in her voice that Alan did not quite understand–a bitterness and a revolt which he took to be against the circumstances that hedged her in.
“Is not some other life possible for you if your present life does not content you?” he said gently.
“But it does content me,” said Lynde imperiously. “I want no other–I wish this life to go on forever–forever, do you understand? If I were sure that it would–if I were sure that no change would ever come to me, I would be perfectly content. It is the fear that a change will come that makes me wretched. Oh!” She shuddered and put her hands over her eyes.
Alan thought she must mean that when her father died she would be alone in the world. He wanted to comfort her–reassure her–but he did not know how.
One evening when he went to Four Winds he found the door open and, seeing the Captain in the living room, he stepped in unannounced. Captain Anthony was sitting by the table, his head in his hands; at Alan’s entrance he turned upon him a haggard face, blackened by a furious scowl beneath which blazed eyes full of malevolence.
“What do you want here?” he said, following up the demand with a string of vile oaths.
Before Alan could summon his scattered wits, Lynde glided in with a white, appealing face. Wordlessly she grasped Alan’s arm, drew him out, and shut the door.
“Oh, I’ve been watching for you,” she said breathlessly. “I was afraid you might come tonight–but I missed you.”
“But your father?” said Alan in amazement. “How have I angered him?”
“Hush. Come into the garden. I will explain there.”
He followed her into the little enclosure where the red and white roses were now in full blow.
“Father isn’t angry with you,” said Lynde in a low shamed voice. “It’s just–he takes strange moods sometimes. Then he seems to hate us all–even me–and he is like that for days. He seems to suspect and dread everybody as if they were plotting against him. You–perhaps you think he has been drinking? No, that is not the trouble. These terrible moods come on without any cause that we know of. Even Mother could not do anything with him when he was like that. You must go away now–and do not come back until his dark mood has passed. He will be just as glad to see you as ever then, and this will not make any difference with him. Don’t come back for a week at least.”
“I do not like to leave you in such trouble, Miss Oliver.”
“Oh, it doesn’t matter about me–I have Emily. And there is nothing you could do. Please go at once. Father knows I am talking to you and that will vex him still more.”