FullReads

MRS. G. Yes, I suppose it would–to you. I’m no help to you–no companion to you; and you like to have it so.

CAPT. G. Aren’t you a little unreasonable, Pussy?

MRS. G. (Stamping her foot.) I’m the most reasonable woman in the world–when I’m treated properly.

CAPT. G. And since when have I been treating you improperly?

MRS. G. Always–and since the beginning. You know you have.

CAPT. G. I don’t; but I’m willing to be convinced.

MRS. G. (Pointing to saddlery.) There!

CAPT. G. How do you mean?

MRS. G. What does all that mean? Why am I not to be told? Is it so precious?

CAPT. G. I forget its exact Government value just at present. It means that it is a great deal too heavy.

MRS. G. Then why do you touch it?

CAPT. G. To make it lighter. See here, little love, I’ve one notion and Jack has another, but we are both agreed that all this equipment is about thirty pounds too heavy. The thing is how to cut it down without weakening any part of it, and, at the same time, allowing the trooper to carry everything he wants for his own comfort–socks and shirts and things of that kind.

MRS. G. Why doesn’t he pack them in a little trunk?

CAPT. G. (Kissing her.) Oh, you darling! Pack them in a little trunk, indeed! Hussars don’t carry trunks, and it’s a most important thing to make the horse do all the carrying.

MRS. G. But why need you bother about it? You’re not a trooper.

CAPT. G. No; but I command a few score of him; and equipment is nearly everything in these days.

MRS. G. More than me?

CAPT. G. Stupid! Of course not; but it’s a matter that I’m tremendously interested in, because if I or Jack, or I and Jack, work out some sort of lighter saddlery and all that, it’s possible that we may get it adopted.

MRS. G. How?

CAPT. G. Sanctioned at Home, where they will make a sealed pattern–a pattern that all the saddlers must copy–and so it will be used by all the regiments.

MRS. G. And that interests you?

CAPT. G. It’s part of my profession, y’know, and my profession is a good deal to me. Everything in a soldier’s equipment is important, and if we can improve that equipment, so much the better for the soldiers and for us.

MRS.G. Who’s ‘us’?

CAPT. G. Jack and I; only Jack’s notions are too radical. What’s that big sigh for, Minnie?

MRS. G. Oh, nothing–and you’ve kept all this a secret from me! Why?

CAPT. G. Not a secret, exactly, dear. I didn’t say anything about it to you because I didn’t think it would amuse you.

MRS. G. And am I only made to be amused?

CAPT. G. No, of course. I merely mean that it couldn’t interest you.

MRS. G. It’s your work and–and if you’d let me, I’d count all these things up. If they are too heavy, you know by how much they are too heavy, and you must have a list of things made out to your scale of lightness, and–

CAPT. G. I have got both scales somewhere in my head; but it’s hard to tell how light you can make a headstall, for instance, until you’ve actually had a model made.

MRS. G. But if you read out the list, I could copy it down, and pin it up there just above your table. Wouldn’t that do?

CAPT. G. It would be awf’ly nice, dear, but it would be giving you trouble for nothing. I can’t work that way. I go by rule of thumb. I know the present scale of weights, and the other one–the one that I’m trying to work to–will shift and vary so much that I couldn’t be certain, even if I wrote it down.

MRS. G. I’m so sorry. I thought I might help. Is there anything else that I could be of use in?

CAPT. G. (Looking round the room.) I can’t think of anything. You’re always helping me, you know.