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The lady turned away; whereupon the kid began his cheek again.

“That lady,” said he to me and the company at large, “has got a nice dress and a nasty face. I like nice faces bestest–do you?”

“Shut up, or I’ll clout your ear,” snarled I, in a regular perspiration of disgust.

“What’s clout?” inquired he. Then, feeling his ears, “My ears don’t stick out like that man’s over there, do they?”

“Do you hear? shut up, you little fool!”

“We’ve got a donkey at home, and his–“

Here I could stand it no longer, and lugged him off, whether he liked it or no. He was just as bad in the reading-room. He wouldn’t sit still unless I told him stories, and made a regular nuisance of himself to the other people. Then (I suppose it was his big feed) he began to get crusty, and blubbered when I talked sharply to him, and presently set up a regular good old howl.

“Why don’t you put the child to bed?” said a lady; “he’s no business up at this hour.”

Nice, wasn’t it?

I had to sneak off with him upstairs, howling all the way. He wouldn’t stop till I gave him a mild cuff on the head. That seemed to bring him round enough to demand the “The Three Bears” once more.

Anything to keep him still; so at it I went again.

Then I told him to go to bed; and he told me to undress him, as he couldn’t do the buttons.

I can’t make out how I got him out of his togs. Then he kicked up no end of a shine because I was going to stick him in bed without his bath.

“I’ve got no bath,” said I; “wait till the morning.”

“Tommy wants his bath. Bring it! bring it!!” he shrieked.

Finally I had to mess him about in a basin in cold water, which set him yelling worse than ever. Then I had to put him in my night-gown, for he’d got none of his own.

“I want to get in beside you,” he said, as I stuck him in bed.

“I’m not going to bed yet,” said I; “not likely, at eight o’clock!”

More yells; and a chambermaid came and knocked at the door to know what was the matter.

I tried all I knew to quiet him down. He wouldn’t listen to me, not even when I tried to tell him his “Three Bears.” He bellowed out one incessant “Want to get in beside you! Want to get in beside you!!” till finally I chucked up the sponge and actually went to bed to oblige him.

He simmered down after that; and I began to hope he’d drop off and get to sleep. But bless you, Jossy, was it likely, after those buns and the dinner he’d had?

We had a fearful night, I can tell you. He kicked till I was black and blue, and rolled over and over till I hadn’t a stitch on me. Then he wanted some water to drink. Then he wanted the gas alight. Then he began to blubber for his mother. Then he wanted the clothes on. Then he wanted them off. Then he got his feet entangled in the night-gown. Then he wanted some chocolates. Then he wanted to know who was talking in the next room. Then he wanted the pillow turned over. Then he wanted a story told him, and shut me up before I’d begun one sentence of it. Then he wanted me to put my arm round him. Then he wanted me to lie over on the edge of the bed. Then he had a pain in his “tummy,” and called on me to make it well, and howled because I couldn’t.

Poor little beggar! He was in a jolly bad way, and I couldn’t well cut up rough; but I can tell you it was the worst night I ever spent. He didn’t quiet down till about three in the morning; and then he went off with his head on my chest and his hand on my nose, and I daren’t for the life of me shift an inch, for fear of bringing it all on again.