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Dicky Of Kingswood
by
“What micht they be like?” asked Dicky innocently; for he had no difficulty in recognising the farmer from whom he had stolen the beasts, though the latter, having never set eyes on Dicky, had no idea of whom he was talking to.
“Oh,” said the man, “they were fine, muckle, fat beasts, red, baith o’ them, ane wi’ a bally face, an’ the tither wi’ its near horn sair turned in.” And some other notable peculiarities the farmer mentioned, such as might strike a man skilled in cattle.
“We-el,” answered Dicky thoughtfully, “now that ye mention it, I believe I did see sic a pair, or twa very like them, no later agone than yesterday afternoon. If I’m no mista’en, they’re rinnin’ on Maister —-‘s farm, no far frae Lanercost.”
“Man, ah’m that obleeged to ye. But ah’m that deid tired wi’ walkin’, seekin’ them, ah canna gang that far,” said the farmer. “That’s a gey guid mare ye’re ridin’. Ye wadna be for sellin’ her, likely?”
“Oh aye, I’ll sell. But she’s a braw mare; there’s no her like i’ the countryside, or in a’ Northumberland. I’ll be wantin’ a braw price.” Dicky was always ready for a deal, and in this instance of course it suited him very well to get rid of his steed.
So, after some chaffering, Dicky was promised his “braw price,” and he accompanied the farmer home to get the money. A long way it was. The farmer perforce walked, but Dicky, with native caution, rode, for, said he, in excuse to his companion:
“I’m loth to part wi’ my good auld mare, for I’ve never owned her like. Sae I’ll jist tak’ a last bit journey on her.”
In due course Dicky got his money, and food and drink, as much as he could swallow, into the bargain. Then the farmer rode away for Lanercost; and Dicky, of course, remembered that he had business in a different part of the country.
Sure enough, when the farmer reached Lanercost there were his bullocks contentedly grazing in a field, while contemplatively gazing at them stood an elderly man, with damaged face.
Up rode the farmer on the mare.
“Here!” shouted he angrily, “what the de’il are ye doin’ wi’ my bullocks?”
“Wh-a-at?” bellowed the other with equal fury. “Your bullocks! And be d—-d to ye! If it comes to that, what the de’il are ye doin’ ridin’ my mare? I’ll hae the law o’ ye for stealin’ her, ye scoondrel! Come doon oot o’ my saiddle afore ah pu’ ye doon.” And the two elderly men, each red in the face as a “bubbly jock,” both spluttering and almost speechless with rage, glared at each other, murder in their eyes.
Then came question and answer, and mutual explanation, and gradually the comic side of the affair struck them; each saw how the other had been done, and they burst into roar after roar of such laughter as left them weak and helpless. They had been properly fooled. But the fat bullocks were recovered, and the well-loved mare, even if the money paid for each was gone. And after all, he laughs best who laughs last. But they saw no more of Dicky of Kingswood.