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Design in Plaster
by
“I’ll go along,” said Mary.”Can I bring you anything tomorrow? Or tonight if you feel lonely?”
“Not tonight. You know I’m always cross at night–and I don’t like you making that long drive twice a day. Go along–be happy.”
“Shall I ring for the nurse?”
“I’ll ring presently.”
He didn’t though–he just stood. He knew that Mary was wearing out, that this resurgence of her love was wearing out. His accident was a very temporary dam of a stream that had begun to overflow months before.
When the pains began at six with their customary regularity the nurse gave him something with codein in it, shook him a cocktail and ordered dinner, one of those dinners it was a struggle to digest since he had been sealed up in his individual bomb-shelter. Then she was off duty four hours and he was alone. Alone with Mary and the Frenchman.
He didn’t know the Frenchman except by name but Mary had said once:
“Joris is rather like you–only naturally not formed–rather immature.”
Since she said that, the company of Mary and Joris had grown increasingly unattractive in the long hours between seven and eleven. He had talked with them, driven around with them, gone to pictures and parties with them–sometimes with the half comforting ghost of Joris’ wife along. He had been near as they made love and even that was endurable as long as he could seem to hear and see them. It was when they became hushed and secret that his stomach winced inside the plaster cast. That was when he had pictures of the Frenchman going toward Mary and Mary waiting. Because he was not sure just how Joris felt about her or about the whole situation.
“I told him I loved you,” Mary said–and he believed her, “I told him that I could never love anyone but you.”
Still he could not be sure how Mary felt as she waited in her apartment for Joris. He could not tell if, when she said good night at her door, she turned away relieved, or whether she walked around her living room a little and later, reading her book, dropped it in her lap and looked up at the ceiling. Or whether her phone rang once more for one more good night.
Martin hadn’t worried about any of these things in the first two months of their separation when he had been on his feet and well.
At half-past eight he took up the phone and called her; the line was busy and still busy at a quarter of nine. At nine it was out of order; at nine-fifteen it didn’t answer and at a little before nine-thirty it was busy again. Martin got up, slowly drew on his trousers and with the help of a bellboy put on a shirt and coat.
“Don’t you want me to come, Mr. Harris?” asked the bellboy.
“No thanks. Tell the taxi I’ll be right down.”
When the boy had gone he tripped on the slightly raised floor of the bathroom, swung about on one arm and cut his head against the wash bowl. It was not so much, but he did a clumsy repair job with the adhesive and, feeling ridiculous at his image in the mirror, sat down and called Mary’s number a last time–for no answer. Then he went out, not because he wanted to go to Mary’s but because he had to go somewhere toward the flame, and he didn’t know any other place to go.
At ten-thirty Mary, in her nightgown, was at the phone.
“Thanks for calling. But, Joris, if you want to know the truth I have a splitting headache. I’m turning in.”