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Deacon Pitkin’s Farm
by
Deacon’ Pitkin was at first more shocked and overwhelmed than his wife. His yesterday’s talk with James had no such serious purpose. It had been only the escape-valve for his hypochondriac forebodings of the future, and nothing was farther from his thoughts than having it bear fruit in any such decisive movement on the part of his son. In fact, he secretly was proud of his talents and his scholarship, and had set his heart on his going through college, and had no more serious purpose in what he said the day before than the general one of making his son feel the difficulties and straits he was put to for him. Young men were tempted at college to be too expensive, he thought, and to forget what it cost their parents at home. In short, the whole thing had been merely the passing off of a paroxysm of hypochondria, and he had already begun to be satisfied that he should raise his interest money that year without material difficulty. The letter showed him too keenly the depth of the suffering he had inflicted on his son, and when he had read it he cast a sort of helpless, questioning look on his wife, and said, after an interval of silence:
“Well, mother!”
There was something quite pathetic in the appealing look and voice.’
“Well, father,” she answered in subdued tones; “all we can do now is to leave it.”
LEAVE IT!
Those were words often in that woman’s mouth, and they expressed that habit of her life which made her victorious over all troubles, that habit of trust in the Infinite Will that actually could and did leave every accomplished event in His hand, without murmur and without conflict.
If there was any one thing in her uniformly self-denied life that had been a personal ambition and a personal desire, it had been that her son should have a college education. It was the center of her earthly wishes, hopes and efforts. That wish had been cut off in a moment, that hope had sunk under her feet, and now only remained to her the task of comforting the undisciplined soul whose unguided utterances had wrought the mischief. It was not the first time that, wounded by a loving hand in this dark struggle of life, she had suppressed the pain of her own hurt that he that had wounded her might the better forgive himself.
“Dear father,” she said to him, when over and over he blamed himself for his yesterday’s harsh words to his son, “don’t worry about it now; you didn’t mean it. James is a good boy, and he’ll see it right at last; and he is in God’s hands, and we must leave him there. He overrules all.”
When Mrs. Pitkin turned from her husband she sought Diana in her room.
“Oh, cousin! cousin!” said the girl, throwing herself into her arms. “Is this true? Is James gone? Can’t we do any thing? Can’t we get him back? I’ve been thinking it over. Oh, if the ship wouldn’t sail! and I’d go to Salem and beg him to come back, on my knees. Oh, if I had only known yesterday! Oh, cousin, cousin! he wanted to talk with me, and I wouldn’t hear him!–oh, if I only had, I could have persuaded him out of it! Oh, why didn’t I know?”
“There, there, dear child! We must accept it just as it is, now that it is done. Don’t feel so. We must try to look at the good.”
“Oh, show me that letter,” said Diana; and Mrs. Pitkin, hoping to tranquilize her, gave her James’s note. “He thinks I don’t care for him,” she said, reading it hastily. “Well, I don’t wonder! But I do care! I love him better than anybody or anything under the sun, and I never will forget him; he’s a brave, noble, good man, and I shall love him as long as I live–I don’t care who knows it! Give me that locket, cousin, and write to him that I shall wear it to my grave.”