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By Advice Of Counsel
by
‘I turns to the crowd. I was awful disturbed. “You mustn’t take any notice,” I says. “He ain’t well. He ain’t himself.” When just then the parrot cuts with another of them squawks. Jerry jumps at it.
‘”You first,” he says, and flings the cage out of the window. “Now you,” he says to the yellow dog, putting him out through the door. And then he folds his arms and scowls at us, and we all notice suddenly that he’s very big. We look at one another, and we begins to edge towards the door. All except Jane, who’s staring at Jerry as if he’s a ghost.
‘”Mr Moore,” says Pa Tuxton, dignified, “we’ll leave you. You’re drunk.”
‘”I’m not drunk,” says Jerry. “I’m in love.”
‘”Jane,” says Pa Tuxton, “come with me, and leave this ruffian to himself.”
‘”Jane,” says Jerry, “stop here, and come and lay your head on my shoulder.”
‘”Jane,” says Pa Tuxton, “do you hear me?”
‘”Jane,” says Jerry, “I’m waiting.”
‘She looks from one to the other for a spell, and then she moves to where Jerry’s standing.
‘”I’ll stop,” she says, sort of quiet.
‘And we drifts out.’
The waiter snorted.
‘I got back home quick as I could,’ he said, ‘and relates the proceedings to Gentleman. Gentleman’s rattled. “I don’t believe it,” he says. “Don’t stand there and tell me Jerry Moore did them things. Why, it ain’t in the man. ‘Specially after what I said to him about the way he ought to behave. How could he have done so?” Just then in comes Jerry, beaming all over. “Boys,” he shouts, “congratulate me. It’s all right. We’ve fixed it up. She says she hadn’t known me properly before. She says she’d always reckoned me a sheep, while all the time I was one of them strong, silent men.” He turns to Gentleman–‘
The man at the other end of the room was calling for his bill.
‘All right, all right,’ said the waiter. ‘Coming! He turns to Gentleman,’ he went on rapidly, ‘and he says, “Bailey, I owe it all to you, because if you hadn’t told me to insult her folks–“‘
He leaned on the traveller’s table and fixed him with an eye that pleaded for sympathy.
”Ow about that?’ he said. ‘Isn’t that crisp? “Insult her folks!” Them was his very words. “Insult her folks.”‘
The traveller looked at him inquiringly.
‘Can you beat it?’ said the waiter.
‘I don’t know what you are saying,’ said the traveller. ‘If it is important, write it on a slip of paper. I am stone-deaf.’