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Black Jack
by
“Presintly the Arm’rer Sargint comes in stiffin’ an’ crackin’ on, not pleased wid any wan, bekaze the Martini-Henry bein’ new to the rig’mint in those days we used to play the mischief wid her arrangemints. ‘Twas a long time before I cud get out av the way av thryin’ to pull back the back-sight an’ turnin’ her over afther firin’–as if she was a Snider.
“‘Fwhat tailor-men do they give me to work wid?’ sez the Arm’rer Sargint. ‘Here’s Hogan, his nose flat as a table, laid by for a week, an’ ivry Comp’ny sendin’ their arrums in knocked to small shivreens.’
“‘Fwhat’s wrong wid Hogan, Sargint?’ sez I.
“‘Wrong!’ sez the Arm’rer Sargint; ‘I showed him, as though I had been his mother, the way av shtrippin’ a ‘Tini, an’ he shtrup her clane an’ easy. I tould him to put her to again an’ fire a blank into the blow-pit to show how the dirt hung on the groovin’. He did that, but he did not put in the pin av the fallin’-block, an’ av coorse whin he fired he was strook by the block jumpin’ clear. Well for him ’twas but a blank–a full charge wud ha’ cut his oi out,”
“I looked a thrifle wiser than a boiled sheep’s head. ‘How’s that, Sargint?’ sez I.
“‘This way, ye blundherin’ man, an’ don’t you be doin’ ut,’ sez he. Wid that he shows me a Waster action–the breech av her all cut away to show the inside–an’ so plazed he was to grumble that he dimonstrated fwhat Hogan had done twice over. ‘An’ that comes av not knowin’ the wepping you’re purvided wid,’ sez he.
“‘Thank ye, Sargint,’ sez I; ‘I will come to you again for further information.’
“‘Ye will not,’ sez he, ‘Kape your clanin’-rod away from the breech-pin or you will get into throuble.’
“I wint outside an’ I could ha’ danced wid delight for the grandeur av ut. ‘They will load my rifle, good luck to thim, whoile I’m away,’ thinks I, and back I wint to the Canteen to give them their clear chanst.
“The Canteen was fillin’ wid men at the ind av the day. I made feign to be far gone in dhrink, an’, wan by wan, all my roomful came in wid Vulmea. I wint away, walkin’ thick an’ heavy, but not so thick an’ heavy that any wan cud ha’ tuk me. Sure and thrue, there was a kyartridge gone from my pouch an’ lyin’ snug in my rifle. I was hot wid rage against thim all, an’ I worried the bullet out wid my teeth as fast as I cud, the room bein’ empty. Then I tuk my boot an’ the clanin’-rod and knocked out the pin av the fallin’-block. Oh, ’twas music when that pin rowled on the flure! I put ut into my pouch an’ stuck a dab av dirt on the holes in the plate, puttin’ the fallin’-block back. ‘That’ll do your business, Vulmea,’ sez I, lyin’ easy on the cot. ‘Come an’ sit on my chest the whole room av you, an’ I will take you to my bosom for the biggest divils that iver cheated halter.’ I would have no mercy on Vulmea. His oi or his life–little I cared!
“At dusk they came back, the twelve av thim, an’ they had all been dhrinkin’. I was shammin’ sleep on the cot. Wan man wint outside in the veranda. Whin he whishtled they began to rage roun’ the room an’ carry on tremenjus. But I niver want to hear men laugh as they did–sky-larkin’ too! ‘Twas like mad jackals.
“‘Shtop that blasted noise!’ sez O’Hara in the dark, an’ pop goes the room lamp. I cud hear O’Hara runnin’ up an’ the rattlin’ av my rifle in the rack an’ the men breathin’ heavy as they stud roun’ my cot. I cud see O’Hara in the light av the veranda lamp, an’ thin I heard the crack av my rifle. She cried loud, poor darlint, bein’ mishandled. Next minut’ five men were houldin’ me down. ‘Go easy,’ I sez; ‘fwhat’s ut all about?’