Billy and the Big Stick
by
Had the Wilmot Electric Light people remained content only to make light, had they not, as a by-product, attempted to make money, they need not have left Hayti.
When they flooded with radiance the unpaved streets of Port- au-Prince no one, except the police, who complained that the lights kept them awake, made objection; but when for this illumination the Wilmot Company demanded payment, every one up to President Hamilear Poussevain was surprised and grieved. So grieved was President Ham, as he was lovingly designated, that he withdrew the Wilmot concession, surrounded the power-house with his barefooted army, and in a proclamation announced that for the future the furnishing of electric light would be a monopoly of the government.
In Hayti, as soon as it begins to make money, any industry, native or foreign, becomes a monopoly of the government. The thing works automatically. It is what in Hayti is understood as BAUTE FINANCE. The Wilmot people should have known that. Because they did not as vice-consul, law and order were as solidly established as the stone jetties, and by contrast the eccentricities of the Black REPUBLIC baffled and distressed him.
“It can’t be that you blackmail the president,” said the consul, “because I understand he boasts he has committed all the known crimes.
“And several he invented,” agreed Billy.
“And you can’t do it with a gun, because they tell me the president isn’t afraid of anything except a voodoo priestess. What is your secret?” coaxed the consul. “If you’ll only sell it, I know several Powers that would give you your price. Billy smiled modestly.
“It’s very simple,” he said. “The first time my wages were shy I went to the palace and told him if he didn’t come across I’d shut off the juice. I think he was so stunned at anybody asking him for real money that while he was still stunned he opened his safe and handed me two thousand francs. I think he did it more in admiration for my nerve than because he owed it. The next time pay-day arrived, and the pay did not, I didn’t go to the palace. I just went to bed, and the lights went to bed, too. You may remember?” The consul snorted indignantly.
“I was holding three queens at the time,” he protested. “Was it YOU did that?”
“It was,” said Billy. “The police came for me to start the current going again, but I said I was too ill. Then the president’s own doctor came, old Gautier, and Gautier examined me with a lantern and said that in Hayti my disease frequently proved fatal, but he thought if I turned on the lights I might recover. I told him I was tired of life, anyway, but that if I could see three thousand francs it might give me an incentive. He reported back to the president and the three thousand francs arrived almost instantly, and a chicken broth from Ham’s own chef, with His Excellency’s best wishes for the recovery of the invalid. My recovery was instantaneous, and I switched on the lights.
“I had just moved into the Widow Ducrot’s hotel that week, and her daughter Claire wouldn’t let me eat the broth. I thought it was because, as she’s a dandy cook herself, she was professionally jealous. She put the broth on the top shelf of the pantry and wrote on a piece of paper, ‘Gare!’ But the next morning a perfectly good cat, who apparently couldn’t read, was lying beside it dead.”
The consul frowned reprovingly.
“You should not make such reckless charges,” he protested. “I would call it only a coincidence.”
“You can call it what you please,” said Billy, “but it won’t bring the cat back. Anyway, the next time I went to the palace to collect, the president was ready for me. He said he’d been taking out information, and he found if I shut off the lights again he could hire another man in the States to turn them on. I told him he’d been deceived. I told him the Wilmot Electric Lights were produced by a secret process, and that only a trained Wilmot man could work them. And I pointed out to him if he dismissed me it wasn’t likely the Wilmot people would loan him another expert; not while they were fighting him through the courts and the State Department. That impressed the old man; so I issued my ultimatum. I said if he must have electric lights he must have me, too. Whether he liked it or not, mine was a life job.”