PAGE 4
Author!
by
‘I say, Jack,’ said the cousin, ‘you’re feeling all right, aren’t you? I mean, you don’t seem to know what you’re talking about. If you’re going to be ill, say so, and I’ll prescribe for you.’
‘Is he at Rugby?’ asked Mr Seymour.
‘No, of course he’s not. How could he have got from Rugby to London in time for a morning performance? Why, he’s at St Austin’s.’
Mr Seymour sat for a moment in silence, taking this in. Then he chuckled. ‘It’s all right,’ he said, ‘he’s not ill. We have met before, but under such painful circumstances that Master Babington very thoughtfully dissembled, in order not to remind me of them.’
He gave a brief synopsis of what had occurred. The audience, exclusive of Babington, roared with laughter.
‘I suppose,’ said the cousin, ‘you won’t prosecute, will you? It’s really such shocking luck, you know, that you ought to forget you’re a master.’
Mr Seymour stirred his tea and added another lump of sugar very carefully before replying. Babington watched him in silence, and wished that he would settle the matter quickly, one way or the other.
‘Fortunately for Babington,’ said Mr Seymour, ‘and unfortunately for the cause of morality, I am not a master. I was only a stop-gap, and my term of office ceased today at one o’clock. Thus the prisoner at the bar gets off on a technical point of law, and I trust it will be a lesson to him. I suppose you had the sense to do the imposition?’
‘Yes, sir, I sat up last night.’
‘Good. Now, if you’ll take my advice, you’ll reform, or another day you’ll come to a bad end. By the way, how did you manage about roll-call today?’
‘I thought that was an awfully good part just at the end of the first act,’ said Babington.
Mr Seymour smiled. Possibly from gratification.
‘Well, how did it go off?’ asked Peterson that night.
‘Don’t, old chap,’ said Babington, faintly.
‘I told you so,’ said Jenkins at a venture.
But when he had heard the whole story he withdrew the remark, and commented on the wholly undeserved good luck some people seemed to enjoy.