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An Odd Freak
by
“You never saw anything like Beauty when they ‘ad finished with ‘im. If ‘e was bad in ‘is cloes, ‘e was a perfeck horror without ’em. Ginger Dick faked ‘im up beautiful, but there was no pleasing ‘im. Fust he found fault with the winder-blind, which ‘e said didn’t fit; then ‘e grumbled about going bare-foot, then ‘e wanted somethink to ‘ide ‘is legs, which was natural considering the shape of ’em. Ginger Dick nearly lost ‘is temper with ‘im, and it was all old Sam could do to stop himself from casting ‘im off forever. He was finished at last, and arter Peter Russet ‘ad slipped downstairs and found a bit o’ broken clothes-prop in the yard, and ‘e’d been shown ‘ow to lean on it and make a noise, Ginger said as ‘ow if Ted Reddish got ‘im for a ‘undered pounds ‘e’d get ‘im a bargain.
“‘We must ‘ave a cab,’ ses old Sam.
“‘Cab?’ ses Ginger. ‘What for?’
“‘We should ‘ave half Wapping following us,’ ses Sam. ‘Go out and put your ring up, Ginger, and fetch a cab.’
“Ginger started grumbling, but he went, and presently came back with the cab and the money, and they all went downstairs leading the wild man by a bit o’ line. They only met one party coming up, and ‘e seemed to remember somethink ‘e’d forgotten wot ought to be fetched at once.
“Ginger went out fust and opened the cab-door, and then stood there waiting becos at the last moment the wild man said the winder-blind was slipping down. They got ‘im out at last, but before ‘e could get in the cab was going up the road at ten miles an hour, with Ginger ‘anging on to the door calling to it to stop.
“It came back at about a mile an’ a ‘alf an hour, an’ the remarks of the cabman was eggstrordinary. Even when he got back ‘e wouldn’t start till ‘e’d got double fare paid in advance; but they got in at last and drove off.
“There was a fine scene at Ted Reddish’s door. Ginger said that if there was a bit of a struggle it would be a good advertisement for Ted Reddish, and they might p’r’aps get more than a ‘undered, and all the three of ’em could do, they couldn’t get the wild man out o’ that cab, and the cabman was hopping about ‘arf crazy. Every now and then they’d get the wild man ‘arf out, and then he’d get in agin and snarl. ‘E didn’t seem to know when to leave off, and Ginger and the others got almost as sick of it as the cabman. It must ha’ taken two years’ wear out o’ that cab, but they got ‘im out at last, and Reddish’s door being open to see what the row was about, they went straight in.
“‘Wot’s all this?’ ses Reddish, who was a tall, thin man, with a dark moustache.
“It’s a wild man o’ Borneo,’ ses Ginger, panting; ‘we caught ‘im in a forest in Brazil, an’ we’ve come ‘ere to give you the fust offer.’
“Ted Reddish was so surprised ‘e couldn’t speak at fust. The wild man seemed to take ‘is breath away, and ‘e looked in a ‘elpless kind o’ way at ‘is wife, who’d just come down. She was a nice-lookin’ woman, fat, with a lot o’ yaller hair, and she smiled at ’em as though she’d known ’em all their lives.
“‘Come into the parlour,’ she ses, kindly, just as Ted was beginning to get ‘is breath.
“They followed ’em in, and the wild man was just going to make hisself comfortable in a easy-chair, when Ginger give ‘im a look, an’ ‘e curled up on the ‘earthrug instead.
“”E ain’t a very fine specimen,’ ses Ted Reddish, at last.
“‘It’s the red side-whiskers I don’t like,’ ses his wife. ‘Besides, who ever ‘eard of a wild man in a collar an’ necktie?’