PAGE 3
An Adventure In Altruria
by
“So we was engaged. Not a word about any day’s work in the week or when she has sweeping done (she said she’d do the dusting herself–and she’s wise, with Nellie ’round) or when she had bakings or anything; only that she’d have a laundress come in three days (eight hours a day) and do all our washing. We got a room apiece, but we haven’t got a bathroom like at Mrs. Caines’, so she told us we could have the guest bathroom. My! but I wish you’d heard her; and she’s just the prettiest thing in the world and wears the prettiest clothes. Her clothes is all that gives me hope of her! She said she embroidered her shirt-waist herself; and I guess if she can sit up and take that amount of notice, she’s got the makings of sense in her!
“She said could I come that day. I said, ‘Yes, ma’am.’
“‘You needn’t call me that,’ says she; ‘I don’t care for those little distinctions.’
“‘If you please, ma’am,’ I says, kind but firm, ‘they’re fitting and proper and I prefer it, ma’am.’
“Well, Miss Patsy, I got my first dinner yesterday. I even made the salad, which belongs to the waitress, but I couldn’t risk Nellie Small’s ideas of French dressing yet ! Miss Patsy, she set her own plate at table.
“‘Now,’ says I, ‘let’s talk plain United States a minute. Whether that poor, innercent, looney lady craves our company or not, she ain’t going to git it. When I’m cooking a dinner I ain’t dressed up for company. I want my meals in peace, and you ought to want yours; they got their own gossip, same’s us; and whatever Miss Van Arden might be willing to do, the doctor’ll want to have her sister and her friends to herself without you and me butting in; just as I want my meals to myself without them !’
“Nellie told me she was just as good as them; and I said I wasn’t the one that had to decide that; goodness was something only the Lord Almighty got the scales for weighing exact, but I’d bet money, if it came to sheer, imbecile cleanness of heart and willingness to sacrifice herself for any old thing, that Miss Van Arden could give us both a long start and then beat us! But I guessed we’d leave that part out. Sich things was just business. We got to take the world’s we found it. So she said she wouldn’t take the plate off. I said I wasn’t proud; wherefore I took it off myself, and she didn’t put no more on, and the sisters had their meal in peace. She come when the buzzer called her and waited fairly well–she’s bright enough when she wants to be.
“Doctor? Oh, she’s a horse of another color. She’s ten years older’n her sister and ain’t seen much of her since their parents died and Miss Mercy went to live with her aunty, and she seems to set a good deal by her and be puzzled by her, too. She’s got a good appetite and knows good food. I can git along with her all right. But I mistrust that Nellie, being so half baked, we’ll get our trouble soon! We’ve a colored man looks out for the furnace and beats the rugs and tends to the yard and does chores; he seems a decent sort of man. I got a rise out of Nellie ’bout him, though. She was just boiling and sissing when I remarked, ‘You think everybody’s as good as everybody else, so I expect you won’t mind having Amos set down with us.’ Why, she flew into fifty pieces. ‘Eat with a nigger!’ she screamed.
“Of course, I was only fooling, and he was glad enough to get a good meal in the laundry; he’s a real nice, sensible man. But my lady was off, not so much as putting the dishes in the washing machine. Marched off with her young man, who’s on strike; so he’s underfoot most of the time. That kind makes me tired!”