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Among the Corn Rows
by
"So I have good reasons f’r liking the country," Rob resumed in a quiet way. "The soil is rich, the climate good so far, an’ if I have a couple o’ decent crops you’ll see a neat upright goin’ up here, with a porch and a bay winder. "
"And you’ll still be livin’ here alone, frying leathery slapjacks an’ choppin’ taters and bacon. "
"I think I see myself," drawled Rob, "goin’ around all summer wearin’ the same shirt without washin’, an’ wipin’ on the same towel four straight weeks, an’ wearin’ holes in my socks, an’ eatin’ musty gingersnaps, moldy bacon, an’ canned Boston beans f’r the rest o’ my endurin’ days! Oh, yes; I guess not! Well, see y’ later. Must go water my bulls. "
As he went off down the slope, Seagraves smiled to hear him sing:
"I wish that some kindhearted girl Would pity on me take, And extricate me from the mess I’m in. The angel–how I’d bless her, li this her home she’d make, In my little old sod shanty on the plain!"
The boys nearly fell off their chairs in the Western House dining room, a few days later, at seeing Rob come into supper with a collar and necktie as the finishing touch of a remarkable outfit.
"Hit him, somebody!"
"It’s a clean collar!"
"He’s started f’r Congress!"
"He’s going to get married," put in Seagraves in a tone that brought conviction.
"What!" screamed Jack Adams, O’Neill, and Wilson in one breath. " That man?"
"That man," replied Seagraves, amazed at Rob, who coolly took his seat, squared his elbows, pressed his collar down at the back, and called for the bacon and eggs.
The crowd stared at him in a dead silence.
"Where’s he going to do it?" asked Jack Adarns. "where’s he going to find a girl?"
"Ask him," said Seagraves.
"I ain’t tellin’," put in Rob, with his mouth full of potato.
"You’re afraid of our competition. "
"That’s right; our competition, Jack; not your competition. Come, now, Rob, tell us where you found her. "
"I ain’t found her. "
"What! And yet you’re goin’ away t’ get married!"
"I’m goin’ t’ bring a wife back with me ten days fr’m date. "
"I see his scheme," put in Jim Rivers. "He’s goin’ back East somewhere, an’ he’s goin’ to propose to every girl he meets. "
"Hold on!" interrupted Rob, holding up his fork. "Ain’t quite right. Every good-lookin’ girl I meet. "
"Well, I’ll be blanked!" exclaimed Jack impatientiy; "that simply lets me out. Any man with such a cheek ought to–"
"Succeed," interrupted Seagraves.
"That’s what I say," bawled Hank whiting, the proprietor of the house. "You fellers ain’t got any enterprise to yeh. Why don’t you go to work an’ help settle the country like men? ‘Cause y’ ain’t got no sand. Girls are thicker’n huckleberries back East. I say it’s a dum shame!"
"Easy, Henry," said the elegant bank clerk, Wilson, looking gravely about through his spectacles. "I commend the courage and the resolution of Mr. Rodemaker. I pray the lady may not
"Mislike him for his complexion, The shadowed livery of the burning sun. "
"Shakespeare," said Adams at a venture.
"Brother in adversity, when do you embark? Another season on an untried sea?"
"Hay!" said Rob, winking at Seagraves. "Oh, I go tonight–night train. "
"And return?"
"Ten days from date. "
"I’ll wager a wedding supper he brings a blonde," said Wilson in his clean-cut, languid speech.
"Oh, come now, Wilson; that’s too thin! We all know that rule about dark marryin’ light. "
"I’ll wager she’ll be tall," continued Wilson. "I’ll wager you, friend Rodemaker, she’ll be blonde and tall. "
The rest roared at Rob’s astonishment and contusion. The absurdity of it grew, and they went into spasms of laughter. But Wilson remained impassive, not the twitching of a muscle betraying that he saw anything to laugh at in the proposition.