FullReads

“It’s a splendid system–and how are you meeting the matinee problem?” asked the March Hare.

“Same way,” said the Duchess. “Every Wednesday and Saturday afternoon we make ’em go to a matinee, rain or shine, whether they want to or not, and really it’s pathetic to see how some of the little dears pine for a half-holiday with a hoople, and since I forbade the youngsters to even look at the back of a geography or a spelling book, it is most amusing to see how they sneak into the library and devour the contents of those two books when they think nobody’s looking. I caught one of the boys reading an Arithmetic in bed last night, wholly neglecting his Jack Harkaway books that I had commanded him to read, and leaving his ‘Bim, the Broncho Buster of Buffalo,’ absolutely uncut.

“Fine!” chuckled the Hatter. “And now, my dear Duchess, will you oblige me by taking charge of Miss Alice? She has expressed a desire to go home and so I have brought her here.”

“Certainly,” said the Duchess. “I’ll look after her.”

“You’ll excuse us, Alice,” said the Hatter, politely. “We’d escort you further ourselves, but a question has come before the Municipal Ownership Caucus that we must settle before the meeting of the Common Council to-night. Certain of our members claim that they have a right to sell their votes for $500 apiece—-“

“Mercy!” cried Alice. “Why, that is–that is terrible.”

“It certainly is,” said the March Hare ruefully. “It’s more than terrible, it’s rotten. Here I’ve been holding out for $1,250 for mine, and these duffers want to go in for a cut rate that will absolutely ruin the business.”

“It’s a very important matter,” said the Hatter. “After all our striving to elevate the people we don’t want them to make themselves too cheap. For my part I don’t think they should let go of a vote on any question for less than $2,500.”

“That’s all right, Mr. Mayor,” said the White Knight. “But you don’t want to frighten capital, you know.”

“Well, you and I disagree on that point,” said the Mayor. “Capital isn’t at all necessary to the success of our schemes. My watchword is Bonds, and as long as I have a printing press to print ’em, and a fountain pen to sign ’em I’m not going to be influenced one way or another by a feeling of subserviency to the capitalist class. Good night, Miss Alice. Glad to have met you and I hope you will have a pleasant time with the Duchess. Here,” he added, taking a beautifully printed green and gold paper from his pocket, “here is a Blanket Mortgage 18% Deferred Debenture Bond on the Main Street Ferry of a par value of $100,000 payable in 3457, as a souvenir of your visit.”

“A hundred thousand dollars,” cried Alice. “For me?”

“No,” corrected the Hatter. “A hundred thousand dollar bond. You don’t get the money until 3457, and not then unless you present it in person to the City Treasurer.”

With which munificent gift the Hatter respectfully bowed himself away and made on, followed by the March Hare.

“Good-bye, Alice,” said the White Knight sympathetically; and then thrusting a paper in her hand, he leaned forward and whispered into the little girl’s ear, “If you get into trouble, use this.”

“Thank you,” said Alice. “What is it?”

“It’s a temporary injunction issued by the Chief Justice restraining anybody from interfering with you,” said the White Knight. “You may need it.”

And the kindly old knight ran madly off up the street after the Mayor and the March Hare, and shortly disappeared around the corner.

“Now, my little dear,” said the Duchess, “we’ll take you home.”

Seizing Alice by the hand the Duchess led the little traveller into the Municipal Nursery. Entering the elevator, they went up and up and up and up until Alice thought they would never stop. Finally on the 117th floor the elevator stopped. Alice and the Duchess alighted and entered a funny little flat, singularly enough labelled with Alice’s own name.