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PAGE 14

Alas, The Poor Whiffletit!
by [?]

Voluntarily aligned representatives of the colored population at large formed the tail of the column. Of these last there surely were hundreds. Hundreds more, in holiday dress now somewhat rumpled after a day of pleasure-seeking and pleasure-finding, lined the sidewalks to see this spectacle. Nowhere along the straightaway of the line of march did the pavements lack for onlookers, but nearing the end of the route, and especially where the wide vacant spaces of the Tennessee Street common had been preempted by the festal enterprises of Director General AEsop Loving and his confreres, the press became thicker and ever thicker. Here the crowds overflowed upon the gravel roadway, narrowing the thoroughfare to a lane through which the paraders barely might pass. They did pass, though at a lessened pace, until their front ranks had reached the approximate middle breadth of the old show-grounds, with the tabernacle looming against the sunset’s dying fires an eighth of a mile on beyond.

It is necessary here and now that, taking our eyes from this scene, we hark back to the Wednesday evening preceding. It will be recalled that on this evening a certain motion was made and by acclamation adopted. The maker of the motion, as we know, was Tecumseh Sherman Glass; its beneficiary, as the reader shrewdly may have divined, was Cephus Fringe. Beforehand perhaps the Professor had had vague misgivings as to the part he was to play in the pageantry on the Eighth; perhaps in his mind he had forecast the probability that he might suffer eclipse–a temporary eclipse–but to an artiste none the less distasteful–in the shadow of the Sin Killer, for since the Sin Killer had originally promulgated the idea of the procession it was only natural and only human that the Sin Killer should devise to himself the outstanding place of honor in it.

Be these conjectures as they may be, it is not to be gainsaid that the suggestion embodied in Cump Glass’s motion was to Prof. Fringe highly agreeable, insuring, as it did, a fair measure of prominence for him without infringing upon his chief’s distinctions. He showed his approbation. I believe I already have intimated that Prof. Fringe was not exactly prejudiced against himself. Any lingering aversions he may have entertained in this quarter had long since been overcome. Nevertheless a fresh doubt, arising from fresh causes, assailed him as the first flush of satisfaction abated within him.

This new-born uneasiness betrayed itself in his voice and his manner when, at the conclusion of the night’s services, he encountered Cump Glass in the middle aisle. The meeting was not entirely by chance; if the truth is to be known, Cump had maneuvered to bring it about. The act was his; a greater mind than his, though, had sponsored the act. And Cump Glass, rightly interpreting the look upon Prof. Fringe’s large, plump face, guilefully set himself to play upon the emotional nature of the other. With a gracious wave of his hand he checked the Professor’s expression of thanks.

“Don’t mention it,” he said generously, “don’t mention it. It teks a purformer to understand another purformer’s feelin’s. So I therefo’ teken it ‘pon myse’f to nomernate you fur the gran’ marshal and also ez the proper one to sound the buglin’ blasts endurin’ of the turnout. Seems lak somebody else would ‘a’ had the sense to do so, but w’en they wuzn’t nobody w’ich did so, I steps in. But right soon afterwards I gits to stedyin’ ’bout the hoss you’ll be ridin’, an’ it’s been worryin’ me quite some little–the question of the hoss.”

“I been thinkin’ concernin’ of ‘at very same thing,” confessed Cephus Fringe.

“Is that possible?” exclaimed Cump Glass with well-simulated surprise. “Well, suh, smart minds shorely runs in the same grooves, ez the sayin’ goes. Yas, suh, settin’ yonder after I made that motion, I sez to myse’f, I sez, ‘Glass, you done started this thing an’ you must see it th’ough. ‘Twon’t never do in this world fur the gran’ marshal to be stuck up ‘pon the top side of a skittish, skeery liver’-stable hoss that’ll mebbe start cuttin’ up right in the smack middle of things and distrac’ the gran’ marshal’s mind frum his business.’ I seen that happen mo’ times ‘en onct, wid painful results. I s’pose, tho, you kin ride mighty nigh ary hoss they is, can’t you, Purfessor?”