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But getting into his train to return to Mrs. Ventnor, he thought: ‘A woman like that would have been–!’ And he sighed.

2

With a neatly written cheque for fifty pounds in his pocket Bob Pillin turned in at 23, Millicent Villas on the afternoon after Mr. Ventnor’s visit. Chivalry had won the day. And he rang the bell with an elation which astonished him, for he knew he was doing a soft thing.

“Mrs. Larne is out, sir; Miss Phyllis is at home.”

His heart leaped.

“Oh-h! I’m sorry. I wonder if she’d see me?”

The little maid answered

“I think she’s been washin’ ‘er’air, sir, but it may be dry be now. I’ll see.”

Bob Pillin stood stock still beneath the young woman on the wall. He could scarcely breathe. If her hair were not dry–how awful! Suddenly he heard floating down a clear but smothered “Oh! Gefoozleme!” and other words which he could not catch. The little maid came running down.

“Miss Phyllis says, sir, she’ll be with you in a jiffy. And I was to tell you that Master Jock is loose, sir.”

Bob Pillin answered “Tha-anks,” and passed into the drawing-room. He went to the bureau, took an envelope, enclosed the cheque, and addressing it: “Mrs. Larne,” replaced it in his pocket. Then he crossed over to the mirror. Never till this last month had he really doubted his own face; but now he wanted for it things he had never wanted. It had too much flesh and colour. It did not reflect his passion. This was a handicap. With a narrow white piping round his waistcoat opening, and a buttonhole of tuberoses, he had tried to repair its deficiencies. But do what he would, he was never easy about himself nowadays, never up to that pitch which could make him confident in her presence. And until this month to lack confidence had never been his wont. A clear, high, mocking voice said:

“Oh-h! Conceited young man!”

And spinning round he saw Phyllis in the doorway. Her light brown hair was fluffed out on her shoulders, so that he felt a kind of fainting-sweet sensation, and murmured inarticulately:

“Oh! I say–how jolly!”

“Lawks! It’s awful! Have you come to see mother?”

Balanced between fear and daring, conscious of a scent of hay and verbena and camomile, Bob Pillin stammered:

“Ye-es. I–I’m glad she’s not in, though.”

Her laugh seemed to him terribly unfeeling.

“Oh! oh! Don’t be foolish. Sit down. Isn’t washing one’s head awful?”

Bob Pillin answered feebly:

“Of course, I haven’t much experience.”

Her mouth opened.

“Oh! You are–aren’t you?”

And he thought desperately: ‘Dare I–oughtn’t I–couldn’t I somehow take her hand or put my arm round her, or something?’ Instead, he sat very rigid at his end of the sofa, while she sat lax and lissom at the other, and one of those crises of paralysis which beset would-be lovers fixed him to the soul.

Sometimes during this last month memories of a past existence, when chaff and even kisses came readily to the lips, and girls were fair game, would make him think: ‘Is she really such an innocent? Doesn’t she really want me to kiss her?’ Alas! such intrusions lasted but a moment before a blast of awe and chivalry withered them, and a strange and tragic delicacy–like nothing he had ever known–resumed its sway. And suddenly he heard her say:

“Why do you know such awful men?”

“What? I don’t know any awful men.”

“Oh yes, you do; one came here yesterday; he had whiskers, and he was awful.”

“Whiskers?” His soul revolted in disclaimer. “I believe I only know one man with whiskers–a lawyer.”

“Yes–that was him; a perfectly horrid man. Mother didn’t mind him, but I thought he was a beast.”

“Ventnor! Came here? How d’you mean?”

“He did; about some business of yours, too.” Her face had clouded over. Bob Pillin had of late been harassed by the still-born beginning of a poem:

“I rode upon my way and saw
A maid who watched me from the door.”