PAGE 14
A Short Natural History
by
“The rest of what money?” demanded Mr. Rosen sharply. “I ain’t said nothing about giving no money to nobody. What do you mean–money?”
“I mean de rest of de money which’ll be comin’ to me ez my share,” explained Red Hoss patiently. “De white man dat’s goin’ to he’p me wid dis yere job, he ‘sists p’intedly dat he must have his share paid down cash in advance ‘count of him not bein’ able to come back yere an’ collek it fur hisse’f, an’ likewise ‘count of him not keerin’ to have no truck wid de gen’elman at de other end of de line. De way he put it, he wants all of his’n ‘fore he starts. But me, Ise willin’ to wait fur de bes’ part of mine anyhow. So dat’s how it stands, Mist’ Rosen, an’ ‘scusin’ you an’ me an’ dis yere white man an’ your frien’ in Memphis, dey ain’t nary pusson gwine know nothin’ ’bout it a-tall, ‘ceptin’ mebbe hit’s de lion. An’ ez fur dat, w’y de lion don’t count noways, ‘count of him not talkin’ no language ‘ceptin’ ’tis his own language.”
“The lion?” echoed Mr. Rosen blankly. “What lion? First you tell me blue barrel and then you tell me lion.”
“I means Chieftain–de larges’ black-mangy Nubbin lion in captivation,” stated Red Hoss grandly, quoting from memory his own recollection of an inscription he but lately had read for the first time. “Mist’ Rosen, twixt you an’ me, I reckins dey ain’t no revenue officer in de whole state of Tennessee which is gwine go projeckin’ round a lion cage lookin’ fur evidence.”
Disclosing the crux of his plot, his voice took on a jubilant tone. “Mist’ Rosen, please, suh, lissen to me whut Ise revealin’ to you. Dat blue bar’l of yourn is gwine ride f’um yere plum’ to Memphis, Tennessee, in a cage wid a lion ez big ez ary two lions got ary right to be! An’ now den, Mist’ Rosen, le’s you an’ me talk ’bout de money part of it; ’cause when all is said an’ done, dat’s de principalest part, ain’t it?”
The town of Wyattsville was, as the saying goes, all agog. Indeed, as the editor of the Wyattsville Tri-Weekly Statesman most aptly phrased it in the introductory sentence of a first-page, full-column article in his latest issue: “This week all roads run to Wyattsville.”
The occasion for all this pleasurable excitement wast the annual fair and races of the Forked Deer County Jockey Club, and superimposed upon that the street carnival conducted under the patronage and for the benefit of Wyattsville Herd Number 1002 of the Beneficent and Patriotic Order of American Bison. Each day would be a gala day replete with thrills and abounding in incident; in the forenoons grand free exhibitions upon the streets, also judgings and awards of prizes in various classes, such as farm products, livestock, poultry, needlework, pickles, preserves and art objects; in the afternoons, on the half-mile track out at the fair grounds, trotting, pacing and running events; in the evenings the carnival spirit running high and free, with opportunities for innocent mirth, merriment and entertainment afforded upon every hand.
This was Monday night, the opening night. The initial performance of the three on the nightly schedule of Powers Brothers’ Trained Wild Animal Arena approached now its climax, the hour approximately being eight-forty-five. The ballyhoo upon the elevated platform without had been completed. Hard upon this an audience of townspeople and visitors which taxed the standing capacity of the tented enterprise had flowed in, after first complying with the necessary financial details at the ticket booth. The Educated Ostrich, the Bird That Thinks, had performed to the apparent satisfaction of all, though it might as well be confessed that if one might judge by the intelligent creature’s expression, the things it thought while going through its paces scarcely would be printable. Violet, the lady leopard, had obliged by yowling in a spirited and spitty manner when stirred up with a broom handle. The two bears had given a complete if somewhat lackadaisical rendition of their act. And now the gentlemanly orator in charge, who, after his ballyhoos, doubled as master of ceremonies and announcer of events, directed the attention of the patrons to the largest cage of the four.