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“Don’t mind the governor.” said Richard; “he will have his joke. Did you ever read the Talisman, Tilly?–jolly story!–all about yours truly. You can get it for 4 pence ha’penny. I say, what’s to be done with this chap, Johnny? He’s a little like Arthur of Brittany, isn’t he? Suppose, just to keep your hand in–“

Here John turned very red, and got into a towering rage, and threatened to tear up the Magna Charta to spite them all. Whereat they all laughed.

All this time I lay, bewildered and speechless, on the floor. It was a long time before they could bring their minds to decide what was to be done with me; and, indeed, I began half to hope they had forgotten me in their own squabbles, when a great burly form pushed his way into the group, and asked what all the noise was about.

“As if I haven’t noise enough in my place with all my six wives talking at the same time,” said he, “without your row. What is it? Can’t you settle it and be done?”

William Rufus turned me over again with his foot.

“That thing’s the matter,” said he.

King Hal stooped down, with his hands on his knees, and stared at me. Then he gave a low whistle.

“Whew!” said he. “That’s a catch and a half. Where did you get him?”

“Here, a quarter of an hour ago,” said William the Conqueror. “It was me nobbled him.”

“Not me–I,” said Henry the First.

“You!” exclaimed the Conqueror. “Why, what do you expect if you tell lies like that?”

“I didn’t mean I got him,” explained Henry. “I meant you should say it was I.”

“I shan’t say it was you, when it was me,” said William. “I’m not given to that style of thing, I can tell you.”

“No, no,” began Henry again. “What I mean is, that instead of saying it was me–“

“Who said it was you? I said it was me.”

“Yes, and that’s where you make a mistake. You should say–“

“Look here,” said Henry the Eighth, “suppose you settle that outside. The thing is–whoever nobbled him, as William says–hadn’t we better give him a cold chop, now we’ve got him?”

“Better try him first,” said John. “I make a strong point of that in Magna Charta, you know.”

“Much easier to take the chop first,” said Henry.

“I prefer stakes myself,” said Queen Mary, joining the party.

“Well, well, any way you like,” said King Hal; “anything for a quiet life. The ladies are worrying me to give them a day out, and an Old Bailey trial will be a nice variety for them. Only, let’s have it done in proper state, if we have it at all. I suppose you’d like me to be judge, eh?”

Nobody seemed particularly pleased at this proposal; and Richard said–

“You’d better ask Elizabeth, hadn’t you?”

“Oh, good gracious, no!” exclaimed Henry in alarm. “Don’t say a word about it to her, or there’ll be a terrible rumpus. I assure you I have studied law all my life. Come along. Bring him downstairs and let’s begin. Here, Teddy,” cried he to a nice-looking boy not far off, who must have been Edward the Fifth. “Here, Teddy, run and tell Catherine, and Annie, and Janie, and Annie Cleeves, and Kitty Howard, and Kitty Parr–let’s see, is that all?” said he, counting them over on his fingers; “yes, six–tell ’em all to hurry up, and not to let Elizabeth see them, whatever they do. Oh, and you can tell all the lot of Majesties after Johnny here they’d better come, too. Come, look alive, my lad.”

“All, very well,” said Teddy; “how am I to look alive after the way I’ve been served? Besides, I can never remember all their names.”

“Well, look them up in the catalogue–they’re all down there. Tell them, the big dock downstairs. And if we’re lucky and get the job over in time, I don’t mind standing treat all round in the refreshment-room afterwards. That will fetch them, I fancy; eh, what?”