FullReads

Captain V—- did a considerable trade at his store, and at times had considerable sums of money laying around. Upon leaving in the morning, he notified us, in case we should require change, to look into the desk, where he kept a shot bag of silver coin, and–his pistols.

“How are you?” the words and manner and looks of the man gave us a cold chill.

“How do you do?” we managed to respond, at the same time sliding down behind the counter. The stranger had a heavy walking stick in his hand, and a knapsack looking bundle swung to his shoulder. He looked like the rough remnants of an ill-spent life; had evidently travelled somewhere where barbers, washer-women and such like civilian delicacies, were more matters of tradition than fact.

“Been asleep, eh?” he carelessly continued.

“It appears so,” said we, feeling no better or more satisfactory in our mind, and no reason to, for night was now closing in, and we were going through our performances by the slight illumination of the stars, without any positive certainty as to where the Captain kept his tinder box and candle, that we might furnish some sort of light upon the lugubrious state of affairs.

“Do you keep this store?”

“No, we do not,” we answered, watching the man as he put his bundle down upon the counter.

“Who does?” was the next question.

“The gentleman who keeps it,” we replied, “is away to-day.”

“Ah, gone to see a poor human being put out of the world, eh?”

We said “yes,” or something of the kind, and thought to ourself, no doubt you know all that’s going on of that sort of business like a book, and a host of other ideas flashed across our mind, while all the evil deeds of note transacted in that region for the past ten years, seemed awakened in our mind’s eye, working up our nervous system, until the coon skin cap upon our excited head stood upon about fifteen hairs, with the strange and overwhelming impression that our time had come! We would have given the State of Missouri–if it were in our possession, to have heard Captain V—-‘s voice, or even have had a fair chance to dash out at the door, and give the fellow before us a specimen of tall walking–lame as we were!

“Ain’t you got a light ? I’d think you’d be a little timid (a little timid!) about laying around here, alone, in the dark, too?” said the fellow, sticking one hand into his coat pocket, and gazing sharply around the store. Mock heroically says we–

“Afraid? Afraid of what?” our valor, like Bob Acres’, oozing out at our fingers.

“These outlaws you’ve got around here,” said he. “They say the man they hanged to-day was a decent fellow to what some are, who prowl around in this country!”

We very modestly said, “that such fellows never bothered us.”

“Do you sleep in this store–live here?”

“No, sir, we don’t,” was our answer.

“Where do you lodge and get your eating?”

“First house up the road.”

“How far is it?” says he.

“Half a mile or less.”

“Well, close up your shop, and come along with me!” says the fellow.

Now we were coming to the tableaux! He wanted us to step outside in order that the business could be done for us, with more haste and certainty, and we really felt as good as assassinated and hid in the bushes! It was quite astonishing how our visual organs intensified! We could see every wrinkle and line in the fellow’s face, could almost count the stitches in his coat, and the more we looked, and the keener and more searching became our observation, the more atrocious and subtle became the fellow and his purpose. With a firmness that astonished ourself, we said–

” No, Sir; if you have business there or elsewhere, you had better go! ” and with this determined speech, we walked up to the desk, and with the air of a “man of business” or the nonchalance of a hero, says we–

“What are you after–have you any business with us ?”

“You’re kind of crusty, Mister,” says he. “I’m canvassing this State,– wouldn’t you like to subscribe for a first-rate map of Missouri, OR A NEW EDITION OF JOSEPHUS?”

We felt too mean all over to “subscribe,” but we found a light, and soon found in the stranger one of the best sort of fellows, a man of information and morality, and, though he had looked dangerous, he turned out harmless as a lamb, and we got intimate as brothers before Captain V—- returned that night.