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“Well, sir, that Pard Huff, he never said another word. He just set there with his eyes getting bigger and his face whiter every minute. We kep’ it up and told stories about the way them devils do–everything we ‘d ever heard of–how they hold you and pull out your tongue, or cut off your ears, or run a stake through you and pin you to the ground, or smash your face to a jelly with a rock, or burn you alive, till Pard Huff did n’t know which end he was a-standin’ on a-tall.

“We got out our blankets and turned in, but just kep’ a-talkin’ about the Apaches till that Pard Huff, he was shakin’ as if he had a fit. One of the boys said he ‘d bet if the Apaches did come, Pard Huff would get his ears cut off the first rattle, because they was so big the Injuns could n’t see nothin’ else a-tall in camp till they got them out of the way. And then bang! bang! bang! went some six-shooters, the boys yelled ‘Injuns!’–‘Apaches!’ as loud as they could, and the feller on the other side of Pard Huff (Pard was layin’ next to me) yelled out. ‘Boys, I ‘m killed!’ says he, and he rolled over on his face and kicked and yelled and groaned. Then bang! bang! bang! went the six-shooters again; and then you ought to have seen that Pard Huff! Well, sir, he was sure buffaloed! He jumped out of his blankets and let out one yell. The chuck wagon was right behind us, and he give one jump and went clean over it and lit out across country like an antelope. You-all just ought to ‘ve seen that tenderfoot pull his freight!

“The boys come up a-laughin’ and watched him run. They was a-bettin’ he would n’t stop till he got to Apache Teju, but I said it was n’t right to buffalo him that bad. So we-all yelled and called him to come back, but he only run the faster. The durn fool tenderfoot thought it was the Apaches chasin’ him! We-all thought he ‘d soon find out there was nothin’ wrong a-tall and come back, and so we went to bed again. But he did n’t.

“The next day I had to come to Apache Teju and I found Pard Huff’s bloody tracks most all the way to Separ. He ‘d run right over stones and cactus and prairie dog holes and everything else in his way. And them fool people at Separ was all huddled up in the depot, and a company of men with Winchesters and six-shooters was there from Deming, and everybody was watchin’ the country all ’round with spyglasses, for Injuns! Well, sir, that durn fool tenderfoot, that Pard Huff, had told them a fool yarn about the Apaches surprisin’ our camp and killin’ everybody but him, and they was sure buffaloed!”

“Yes,” I said, “I know they were.”

“You! How did you know anything about it?”

“Oh, I was there that night. I passed through on the train, and Separ and Deming were the worst scared towns I ever saw.”

Texas Bill chuckled, pleased at this verification of his story, and went on:

“Then you know what I ‘m tellin’ you is sure true! I thought mebbe you-all mightn’t believe it, a-tall, for it sure don’t look reasonable that folks could get so buffaloed over a durn fool tenderfoot’s yarn. They looked at me with mighty big eyes when I rode into Separ.

“‘Why,’ says they, ‘how did you-all get out alive? We sure thought you was dead!’

“‘Well,’ says I, ‘as far as I know, I ‘m sure alive; and I don’t know as I ‘ve been into anything to get out of a-tall.’

“‘Why,’ says they, ‘Pard Huff–‘

“‘Oh,’ says I, ‘damn Pard Huff! He ‘s a tenderfoot and afraid of his shadder! He dreamed about Apaches and jumped up with a yell and lit out for God’s sake. We tried to call him back, and he thought it was the Apaches after him. I reckon he ‘s scared you-all half to death with his yarn. You ‘re as bad as tenderfeet yourselves!’