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PAGE 4

The Desire to be a Man
by [?]

Carriages were caught up, and could move no farther. Every one was shouting. In amongst the terrible crackling of the fire, distant cries could be distinguished. The victims caught in this inferno were screaming, and the roofs of the houses were crashing in upon them. A hundred families, those of workmen belonging to the blazing factories, were made, alas! penniless and homeless.

But over there, a solitary cab, laden with two large trunks, was standing stationary behind the crowd halted in the square. Inside it was Esprit Chaudval, originally Lepeinteur, styled Monanteuil. And from time to time he drew aside the blind and contemplated his handiwork.

‘Oh!’ he whispered to himself, ‘I feel myself a horror to God and to men!—Yes, that’s it, that really is the touch of a reprobate!’

The good old actor’s face was glowing.

‘Wretch that I am!’ he grumbled. ‘What vengeful nights of waking shall I know, beset by the phantoms of my victims! I can feel rising within me the soul of a Nero, burning Rome in an artist’s frenzy! Of a Herostratus, burning the temple of Ephesus for love of fame! Of a Rostopchin, burning Moscow for love of country! Of an Alexander, burning Persepolis for the pleasing of his deathless Thaïs!—And I, I am burning for the sake of Duty, having no other means of existence!—I start a fire because I owe myself to myself! I acquit myself! What a Man I shall be! How I shall taste life! Yes, at last I am going to know what one feels when one is put to the torture!—And those nights I shall pass, nights of delight, of magnificent horror!—Ah!—I breathe again! I am born anew! I exist! And to think I have been an actor! Now, we must make off, with the speed of the lightning: in the gross eyes of mankind, I am no more than food for the gallows! Come, we must lock ourselves into our lighthouse, and enjoy remorse in peace!’

Two days later, in the evening, Chaudval had arrived at his destination and taken possession of his old and deserted lighthouse situated on our western coast: a flame long unused, on a ruined building, which ministerial compassion had brought back to life for him.

The light itself could hardly be of any use whatever: it was a work of supererogation, a sinecure, a dwelling with a flame on top of it, with which everybody, save for the solitary exception of Chaudval, could dispense.

So the worthy tragedian, having brought thither his bed, some food, and a great mirror in which to study his facial effects, immediately shut himself up in it, away from the threat of any human suspicion.

Around him moaned the ocean, wherein the ancient abyss of the heavens bathed all its starry clarity. He watched the tides flinging themselves against his tower before the gusts of wind, rather as the Stylite could contemplate the sands swirling against his column before the breath of the desert wind.

With every moment that passed, the dreamer forgot his conflagration. —He climbed up and down the stone staircase.

On the evening of the third day, Lepeinteur was seated in his room, sixty feet above the waves, reading once again a Paris newspaper which recounted the story of the great catastrophe of the night before. ‘An unknown malefactor had flung a few matches into the petroleum vaults. A phenomenal conflagration, which had kept up the firemen and residents of the neighbouring districts all through the night, had manifested itself in the Temple quarter. ’

Close on one hundred victims had perished. Hapless families had been plunged into the direst necessity.

The whole of the square was in mourning, and still smoking.

Nothing was known of the identify of the criminal who had committed this crime; and still less could be imagined as to his motive.

As he read, Chaudval leapt for joy, and rubbed his hands excitedly, exclaiming:

‘What a success! What a marvellous criminal I am! Shall I ever be haunted enough? What ghosts I shall see! I knew well that I should become a Man! Ah, the method was a hard one, I’ll admit—but it had to be done! It had to be done!’

And looking again at the Paris paper, Chaudval saw mention of a benefit performance to be given on behalf of the sufferers.