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PAGE 4

The Philosophy Of Topsy-Turveydom
by [?]

But it is in the history of Modern Philosophy and Modern Science that one finds the strongest examples of this progress by paradox. The triumph of topsy-turveydom was when Galileo, the Oscar Wilde of Astronomy, declared that the earth went round the sun–a sheer piece of inversion. Darwin, the Barry Pain of Biology, asserted that man rose from the brutes, and that, instead of creatures being adapted to conditions, conditions adapted creatures. Berkeley, the Lewis Carroll of Metaphysics, demonstrated that our bodies are in our minds, and Kant, the W. S. Gilbert of Philosophy, showed that space and time live in us. In Literature it is the same story. To credit the scholars, Homer is no longer a man, nor the Bible a book. As for Zechariah, it was written before Genesis. This topsy-turveydom is a valuable organon of scientific discovery. Take any accepted proposition, invert it, and you get a New Truth. Any historian who wishes to make a name has but to state that Ahab was a saint and Elijah a Philistine–that Ananias was a realist and George Washington a liar–that Charles I. was a Republican hampered by his official position, and that the Armada defeated Drake–that Socrates died of drinking, and that hemlock was what he gave Xantippe. In fact, there is no domain of intellect in which a judicious cultivation of topsy-turveydom may not be recommended. Ask why R. A.’s are invariably colour-blind, and you become a great art critic, while a random regret that Mendelssohn had no ear for music will bring you to the very front in musical circles. For the tail shall always wag the dog in the end, and Aristides will never be able to remain in Athens if men will call him “the Just.” Tout passe, tout casse, tout lasse. We are bored–and then comes the topsy-turveyist’s opportunity. “To every action there is an equal and contrary reaction” is a sure law of motion, and in the seesaw of speculation the “down” of to-day is the “up” of to-morrow. Next century we shall be sick of science; and indeed the spooks are already returning for the funeral of this. I shall end with


AN APOLOGY TO A CELEBRATED CHARACTER

As a synonym for sin,
Jezebel,
I ‘ll no longer drag you in,
Jezebel.
Now I know your glorious mission was to spread
the truths Phoenician,
Metaphoric life anew you shall begin,
Jezebel;
Metaphoric life anew you shall begin,

Cultured Baalite, loyal wife,
Jezebel,
Martyr in a noble strife,
Jezebel;
Protestant for light and sweetness ‘gainst the
narrow incompleteness
Of Elijah and Elisha’s view of life,
Jezebel;
Of Elijah and Elisha’s view of life.