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To this low state the gloomy and exasperated fanatics, who had so often smarted under the satirical whips of the dramatists, had reduced the drama itself; without, however, extinguishing the talents of the players, or the finer ones of those who once derived their fame from that noble arena of genius, the English stage. At the first suspension of the theatre by the Long Parliament in 1642, they gave vent to their feelings in an admirable satire. About this time “petitions” to the parliament from various classes were put into vogue; multitudes were presented to the House from all parts of the country, and from the city of London; and some of these were extraordinary. The porters, said to have been 15,000 in number, declaimed with great eloquence on the bloodsucking malignants for insulting the privileges of parliament, and threatened to come to extremities, and make good the saying “necessity has no law;” there was one from the beggars, who declared, that by means of the bishops and popish lords they knew not where to get bread; and we are told of a third from the tradesmen’s wives in London, headed by a brewer’s wife: all these were encouraged by their party, and were alike “most thankfully accepted.”

The satirists soon turned this new political trick of “petitions” into an instrument for their own purpose: we have “Petitions of the Poets,”–of the House of Commons to the King,–Remonstrances to the Porters’ Petition, etc.: spirited political satires. One of these, the “Players’ Petition to the Parliament,” after being so long silenced, that they might play again, is replete with sarcastic allusions. It may be found in that rare collection, entitled “Rump Songs,” 1662, but with the usual incorrectness of the press in that day. The following extract I have corrected from a manuscript copy:–

Now while you reign, our low petition craves
That we, the king’s true subjects and your slaves,
May in our comic mirth and tragic rage
Set up the theatre, and show the stage;
This shop of truth and fancy, where we vow
Not to act anything you disallow.
We will not dare at your strange votes to jeer,
Or personate King PYM[154] with his state-fleer;
Aspiring Catiline should be forgot,
Bloody Sejanus, or whoe’er could plot
Confusion ‘gainst a state; the war betwixt
The Parliament and just Harry the Sixth
Shall have no thought or mention, ’cause their power
Not only placed, but lost him in the Tower;
Nor will we parallel, with least suspicion,
Your synod with the Spanish inquisition.
All these, and such like maxims as may mar
Your soaring plots, or show you what you are,
We shall omit, lest our inventions shake them:
Why should the men be wiser than you make them?
We think there should not such a difference be
‘Twixt our profession and your quality:
You meet, plot, act, talk high with minds immense;
The like with us, but only we speak sense
Inferior unto yours; we can tell how
To depose kings, there we know more than you,
Although not more than what we would; then we
Likewise in our vast privilege agree;
But that yours is the larger; and controls
Not only lives and fortunes, but men’s souls,
Declaring by an enigmatic sense
A privilege on each man’s conscience,
As if the Trinity could not consent
To save a soul but by the parliament.
We make the people laugh at some strange show,
And as they laugh at us, they do at you;
Only i’ the contrary we disagree,
For you can make them cry faster than we.
Your tragedies more real are express’d,
You murder men in earnest, we in jest:
There we come short; but if you follow thus,
Some wise men fear you will come short of us.
As humbly as we did begin, we pray,
Dear schoolmasters, you’ll give us leave to play
Quickly before the king comes; for we would
Be glad to say you’ve done a little good
Since you have sat: your play is almost done
As well as ours–would it had ne’er begun.
But we shall find, ere the last act be spent,
Enter the King, exeunt the Parliament.
And Heigh then up we go! who by the frown
Of guilty members have been voted down,
Until a legal trial show us how
You used the king, and Heigh then up go you!
So pray your humble slaves with all their powers,
That when they have their due, you may have yours.