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The ‘Essay on Man’ is a more thorny subject. When a man finds himself attacked and defended from all quarters, and on all varieties of principle, he is bewildered. Friends are as dangerous as enemies. He must not defy a bristling enemy, if he cares for repose; he must not disown a zealous defender, though making concessions on his own behalf not agreeable to himself; he must not explain away ugly phrases in one direction, or perhaps he is recanting the very words of his ‘guide, philosopher, and friend,’ who cannot safely be taxed with having first led him into temptation; he must not explain them away in another direction, or he runs full tilt into the wrath of mother Church–who will soon bring him to his senses by penance. Long lents, and no lampreys allowed, would soon cauterize the proud flesh of heretical ethics. Pope did wisely, situated as he was, in a decorous nation, and closely connected, upon principles of fidelity under political suffering, with the Roman Catholics, to say little in his own defence. That defence, and any reversionary cudgelling which it might entail upon the Quixote undertaker, he left–meekly but also slyly, humbly but cunningly–to those whom he professed to regard as greater philosophers than himself. All parties found their account in the affair. Pope slept in peace; several pugnacious gentlemen up and down Europe expectorated much fiery wrath in dusting each other’s jackets; and Warburton, the attorney, finally earned his bishoprick in the service of whitewashing a writer, who was aghast at finding himself first trampled on as a deist, and then exalted as a defender of the faith. Meantime, Mr. Schlosser mistakes Pope’s courtesy, when he supposes his acknowledgments to Lord Bolingbroke sincere in their whole extent.

Of Pope’s ‘Homer’ Schlosser think fit to say, amongst other evil things, which it really does deserve (though hardly in comparison with the German ‘Homer’ of the ear-splitting Voss), ‘that Pope pocketed the subscription of the “Odyssey,” and left the work to be done by his understrappers.’ Don’t tell fibs, Schlosser. Never do that any more. True it is, and disgraceful enough, that Pope (like modern contractors for a railway or a loan) let off to sub-contractors several portions of the undertaking. He was perhaps not illiberal in the terms of his contracts. At least I know of people now-a-days (much better artists) that would execute such contracts, and enter into any penalties for keeping time at thirty per cent. less. But navies and billbrokers, that are in excess now, then were scarce. Still the affair, though not mercenary, was illiberal in a higher sense of art; and no anecdote shows more pointedly Pope’s sense of the mechanic fashion, in which his own previous share of the Homeric labor had been executed. It was disgraceful enough, and needs no exaggeration. Let it, therefore, be reported truly: Pope personally translated one-half of the ‘Odyssey’–a dozen books he turned out of his own oven: and, if you add the Batrachomyomachia, his dozen was a baker’s dozen. The journeyman did the other twelve; were regularly paid; regularly turned off when the job was out of hand; and never once had to ‘strike for wages.’ How much beer was allowed, I cannot say. This is the truth of the matter. So no more fibbing, Schlosser, if you please.

But there remains behind all these labors of Pope, the ‘Dunciad,’ which is by far his greatest. I shall not, within the narrow bounds assigned to me, enter upon a theme so exacting; for, in this instance, I should have to fight not against Schlosser only, but against Dr. Johnson, who has thoroughly misrepresented the nature of the ‘Dunciad,’ and, consequently, could not measure its merits. Neither he, nor Schlosser, in fact, ever read more than a few passages of this admirable poem. But the villany is too great for a brief exposure. One thing only I will notice of Schlosser’s misrepresentations. He asserts (not when directly speaking of Pope, but afterwards, under the head of Voltaire) that the French author’s trivial and random Temple de Gout‘shows the superiority in this species of poetry to have been greatly on the side of the Frenchman.’ Let’s hear a reason, though but a Schlosser reason, for this opinion: know, then, all men whom it concerns, that ‘the Englishman’s satire only hit such people as would never have been known without his mention of them, whilst Voltaire selected those who were still called great, and their respective schools.’ Pope’s men, it seems, never had been famous–Voltaire’s might cease to be so, but as yet they had not ceased; as yet they commanded interest. Now mark how I will put three bullets into that plank, riddle it so that the leak shall not be stopped by all the old hats in Heidelberg, and Schlosser will have to swim for his life. First, he is forgetting that, by his own previous confession, Voltaire, not less than Pope, had ‘immortalized a great many insignificant persons;’ consequently, had it been any fault to do so, each alike was caught in that fault; and insignificant as the people might be, if they could be ‘immortalized,’ then we have Schlosser himself confessing to the possibility that poetic splendor should create a secondary interest where originally there had been none. Secondly, the question of merit does not arise from the object of the archer, but from the style of his archery. Not the choice of victims, but the execution done is what counts. Even for continued failures it would plead advantageously, much more for continued and brilliant successes, that Pope fired at an object offering no sufficient breadth of mark. Thirdly, it is the grossest of blunders to say that Pope’s objects of satire were obscure by comparison with Voltaire’s. True, the Frenchman’s example of a scholar, viz., the French Salmasius, was most accomplished. But so was the Englishman’s scholar, viz., the English Bentley. Each was absolutely without a rival in his own day. But the day of Bentley was the very day of Pope. Pope’s man had not even faded; whereas the day of Salmasius, as respected Voltaire had gone by for more than half a century. As to Dacier, ‘which Dacier, Bezonian?’ The husband was a passable scholar–but madame was a poor sneaking fellow, fit only for the usher of a boarding- school. All this, however, argues Schlosser’s two-fold ignorance–first, of English authors; second, of the ‘Dunciad;’–else he would have known that even Dennis, mad John Dennis, was a much cleverer man than most of those alluded to by Voltaire. Cibber, though slightly a coxcomb, was born a brilliant man. Aaron Hill was so lustrous, that even Pope’s venom fell off spontaneously, like rain from the plumage of a pheasant, leaving him to ‘mount far upwards with the swans of Thanes’–and, finally, let it not be forgotten, that Samuel Clarke Burnet, of the Charterhouse, and Sir Isaac Newton, did not wholly escape tasting the knout; if that rather impeaches the equity, and sometimes the judgment of Pope, at least it contributes to show the groundlessness of Schlosser’s objection–that the population of the Dunciad, the characters that filled its stage, were inconsiderable.