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Picnic Incidents
by
“Then we begun to look around and finally decided that Brown would die pretty soon if we didn’t break up the fever, so we concluded to take all the ashes under the camp-fire, fill up his cloze, which was loose, tie his sleeves at the wrists, and his pants at the ankles, give him a dash of condition powders and a little whiskey to take the taste out of his mouth, and then see what ejosted nature would do.
“So we stood Brown up agin a tree and poured hot ashes down his back till he begun to fit his cloze pretty quick, and then we laid him down in the tent and covered him up with everything we had in our humble cot. Everything worked well till he begun to perspirate, and then there was music, and don’t you forget it. That kind of soaked the ashes, don’t you see, and made a lye that would take the peelin’ off a telegraph pole.
“Charcoal Brown jest simply riz up and uttered a shrill whoop that jarred the geology of Colorado, and made my blood run cold. The goose flesh riz on old Joe Connoy till you could hang your hat on him anywhere. It was awful.
“Brown stood up on his feet, and threw things, and cussed us till we felt ashamed of ourselves. I’ve seen sickness a good deal in my time, but–I give it to you straight–I never seen an invalid stand up in the loneliness of the night, far from home and friends, with the concentrated lye oozin’ out of the cracks of his boots, and reproach people the way Charcoal Brown did us.
“He got over it, of course, before Christmas, but he was a different man after that. I’ve been out campin’ with him a good many times sence, but he never complained of feelin’ indisposed. He seemed to be timid about tellin’ us even if he was under the weather, and old Joe Connoy said mebbe Brown was afraid we would prescribe fur him or sumthin’.”