According to some learned opinionsThe Irish once were Carthaginians;But trusting to more late descriptionsI’d rather say they were Egyptians.My reason’s this:–the Priests of Isis,When forth they marched in long array,Employed, ‘mong other grave devices,A Sacred Ass to lead the way;And still the antiquarian traces‘Mong Irish Lords this Pagan plan,For still in all religious casesThey put […]

PASSED AT A LATE MEETING OF REVERENDS AND RIGHT REVERENDS. Resolved–to stick to every particleOf every Creed and every Article;Reforming naught, or great or little,We’ll stanchly stand by every tittle,And scorn the swallow of that soulWhich cannot boldly bolt the whole.[1]Resolved that tho’ St. AthanasiusIn damning souls is rather spacious–Tho’ wide and far his curses […]

REVOLUTION IN THE DICTIONARY–ONE GALT AT THE HEAD OF IT. God preserve us!–there’s nothing now safe from assault;–Thrones toppling around, churches brought to the hammer;And accounts have just reached us that one Mr. GaltHas declared open war against English and Grammar! He had long been suspected of some such design,And, the better his wicked intents […]

ah quoties dubies Scriptis exarsit amator.OVID. The Ghost of Miltiades came at night,And he stood by the bed of the Benthamite,And he said, in a voice that thrilled the frame,“If ever the sound of Marathon’s nameHath fired thy blood or flusht thy brow,“Lover of Liberty, rouse thee now!” The Benthamite yawning left his bed–Away to […]

Alas! my dear friend, what a state of affairs!How unjustly we both are despoiled of our rights!Not a pound of black flesh shall I leave to my heirs,Nor must you any more work to death little whites. Both forced to submit to that general controllerOf King, Lords and cotton mills, Public Opinion,No more shall you […]

Whene’er you’re in doubt, said a Sage I once knew,‘Twixt two lines of conduct which course to pursue,Ask a woman’s advice, and, whate’er she advise,Do the very reverse and you’re sure to be wise. Of the same use as guides the Brunswicker throng;In their thoughts, words and deeds, so instinctively wrong,That whatever they counsel, act, […]

Yes, Winchelsea (I tremble while I pen it),Winehelsea’s Earl hath cut the British Senate–Hath said to England’s Peers, in accent gruff,“That for ye all”[snapping his fingers] and exit in a huff! Disastrous news!–like that of old which spread,From shore to shore, “our mighty Pan is dead,”O’er the cross benches (cross from being crost)Sounds the loud […]

Puir, profligate Londoners, having heard tellThat the De’il’s got amang ye, and fearing ’tis true,We ha’ sent ye a mon wha’s a match for his spell,A chiel o’ our ain, that the De’il himselWill be glad to keep clear of, ane Andrew Agnew. So at least ye may reckon for one day entireIn ilka lang […]

Air-“Come live with me and be my love.” Come wed with me and we will write,My Blue of Blues, from morn till night.Chased from our classic souls shall beAll thoughts of vulgar progeny;And thou shalt walk through smiling rowsOf chubby duodecimos,While I, to match thy products nearly,Shall lie-in of a quarto yearly.‘Tis true, even books […]

“nec tu sperne piis venientia somnia portis:cum pia venerunt somnia, pondus liubent.”PROPERT. lib. iv. eleg. 7. As snug, on a Sunday eve, of late,In his easy chair Sir Andrew sate,Being much too pious, as every one knows,To do aught, of a Sunday eve, but doze,He dreamt a dream, dear, holy man,And I’ll tell you his […]

A letter having been addressed to a very distinguished personage, requesting him to become the Patron of this Orange Club, a polite answer was forthwith returned, of which we have been fortunate enough to obtain a copy. Brimstone-hall, September 1, 1828. Private,–Lord Belzebub presentsTo the Brunswick Club his compliments.And much regrets to say that heCan […]

–risum tenaetis, amici “The longer one lives, the more one learns,”Said I, as off to sleep I went,Bemused with thinking of Tithe concerns,And reading a book by the Bishop of FERNS,[1]On the Irish Church Establishment.But lo! in sleep not long I lay,When Fancy her usual tricks began,And I found myself bewitched awayTo a goodly city […]

“If it be the undergraduate season at which this rabies religiosa is to be so fearful, what security has Mr. Goulburn against it at this moment, when his son is actually exposed to the full venom of an association with Dissenters?” —The Times, March 25. How sad a case!–just think of it–If Goulburn junior should […]

PARODY ON SIR CHARLES HAN. WILLIAMS’S FAMOUS ODE,“COME, CLOE, and GIVE ME SWEET KISSES.” “We want more Churches and more Clergymen.”Bishop of London’s late Charge. “rectorum numerum, terris pereuntibus augent.”Claudian in Eutrop. Come, give us more Livings and Rectors,For, richer no realm ever gave;But why, ye unchristian objectors,Do ye ask us how many we crave?[1] […]

—in Metii decenaat Judicis aures.HORAT. As snug in his bed Lord Henley lay,Revolving much his own renown,And hoping to add thereto a rayBy putting duets and anthems down, Sudden a strain of choral soundsMellifluous o’er his senses stole;Whereat the Reformer muttered “Zounds!”For he loathed sweet music with all his soul. Then starting up he saw […]

ADDRESSED TO A LATE RADICAL MEETING. –“quas ipsa decus sibi dia Camilladelegit pacisque bonas bellique ministras.”VERGIL. As Whig Reform has had its range,And none of us are yet content,Suppose, my friends, by way of change,We try a Female Parliament;And since of late with he M.P.’sWe’ve fared so badly, take to she’s–Petticoat patriots, flounced John Russells,Burdetts […]

And why should not that land rejoice, And darkness flee away, When on its dim, benighted hills Has dawned the glad new day? For now behold the shepherds go, The wondrous babe to see; Ah, then methinks that all around Was one grand jubilee! Rejoice, ye nations blest with peace, Let all the earth be […]