WHEN Cupid with his dart, would hearts assail, The rampart most secure is not the VEIL; A husband better will the FAIR protect, Than walls or lattices, I much suspect. Those parents, who in nunneries have got Their daughters (whether willingly or not), Most clearly in a glaring error prove, To fancy God will round […]

FLORENTINE we now design to show;– A greater blockhead ne’er appeared below; It seems a prudent woman he had wed, With beauty that might grace a monarch’s bed; Young, brisk, good-humoured, with engaging mien; None in the town, or round, the like was seen: Her praises every voice inclined to sing, And judged her worthy […]

NO city I to Rheims would e’er prefer: Of France the pride and honour I aver; The Holy Ampoule * and delicious wine, Which ev’ry one regards as most divine, We’ll set apart, and other objects take: The beauties round a paradise might make! I mean not tow’rs nor churches, gates, nor streets; But charming […]

DAN CUPID, though the god of soft amour, In ev’ry age works miracles a store; Can Catos change to male coquets at ease; And fools make oracles whene’er he please; Turn wolves to sheep, and ev’ry thing so well, That naught remains the former shape to tell: Remember, Hercules, with wond’rous pow’r, And Polyphemus, who […]

DIVERTING in extreme there is a play, Which oft resumes its fascinating sway; Delights the sex, or ugly, fair, or sour; By night or day:–’tis sweet at any hour. The frolick, ev’ry where is known to fame; Conjecture if you can, and tells its name. THIS play’s chief charm to husbands is unknown; ‘Tis with […]

TO serve the shop as ‘prentice was the lot; Of one who had the name of Nicaise got; A lad quite ignorant beyond his trade, And what arithmetick might lend him aid; A perfect novice in the wily art, That in amours is used to win the heart. Good tradesmen formerly were late to learn […]

EXAMPLE often proves of sov’reign use; At other times it cherishes abuse; ‘Tis not my purpose, howsoe’er, to tell Which of the two I fancy to excel. Some will conceive the Abbess acted right, While others think her conduct very light Be that as ’twill, her actions right or wrong, I’ll freely give a license […]

THE change of food enjoyment is to man; In this, t’include the woman is my plan. I cannot guess why Rome will not allow Exchange in wedlock, and its leave avow; Not ev’ry time such wishes might arise, But, once in life at least, ’twere not unwise; Perhaps one day we may the boon obtain; […]

THOSE who in fables deal, bestow at ease Both names and titles, freely as they please. It costs them scarcely any thing, we find. And each is nymph or shepherdess designed; Some e’en are goddesses, that move below, From whom celestial bliss of course must flow. THIS Horace followed, with superior art:– If, to the […]

IN Eastern climes, by means considered new; The Mount’s old-man, with terrors would pursue; His large domains howe’er were not the cause, Nor heaps of gold, that gave him such applause, But manners strange his subjects to persuade; In ev’ry wish, to serve him they were made. Among his people boldest hearts he chose, And […]

BY master Francis clearly ’tis expressed: The folks of Papimania are blessed; True sleep for them alone it seems was made With US the copy only has been laid; And by Saint John, if Heav’n my life will spare, I’ll see this place where sleeping ‘s free from care. E’en better still I find, for […]

IN life oft ills from self-imprudence spring; As proof, Candaules’ story we will bring; In folly’s scenes the king was truly great: His vassal, Gyges, had from him a bait, The like in gallantry was rarely known, And want of prudence never more was shown. MY friend, said he, you frequently have seen The beauteous […]

ONCE more permit me, nuns, and this the last; I can’t resist, whatever may have passed, But must relate, what often I’ve been told; Your tales of convent pranks are seldom cold; They have a grace that no where else we find, And, somehow, better seem to please designed. Another then we’ll have, which three […]

A CERTAIN pious rector (John his name), But little preached, except when vintage came; And then no preparation he required On this he triumphed and was much admired. Another point he handled very well, Though oft’ner he’d thereon have liked to dwell, And this the children of the present day, So fully know, there’s naught […]

HE surely must be wrong who loving fears; And does not flee when beauty first appears. Ye FAIR, with charms divine, I know your fame; No more I’ll burn my fingers in the flame. From you a soft sensation seems to rise, And, to the heart, advances through the eyes; What there it causes I’ve […]

IF once in love, you’ll soon invention find And not to cunning tricks and freaks be blind; The youngest ‘prentice, when he feels the dart, Grows wondrous shrewd, and studies wily art. This passion never, we perceive, remains In want from paucity of scheming brains. The god of hearts so well exerts his force, That […]

A DEMON, blacker in his skin than heart, So great a charm was prompted to impart; To one in love, that he the lady gained, And full possession in the end obtained: The bargain was, the lover should enjoy The belle he wished, and who had proved so coy. Said Satan, soon I’ll make her […]

WHEN William went from home (a trader styled): Six months his better half he left with child, A simple, comely, modest, youthful dame, Whose name was Alice; from Champaign she came. Her neighbour Andrew visits now would pay; With what intention, needless ’tis to say: A master who but rarely spread his net, But, first […]

A FAMOUS painter, jealous of his wife; Whose charms he valued more than fame or life, When going on a journey used his art, To paint an ASS upon a certain part, (Umbilical, ’tis said) and like a seal: Impressive token, nothing thence to steal. A BROTHER brush, enamoured of the dame; Now took advantage, […]

I’M now disposed to give a pretty tale; Love laughs at what I’ve sworn and will prevail; Men, gods, and all, his mighty influence know, And full obedience to the urchin show. In future when I celebrate his flame, Expressions not so warm will be my aim; I would not willingly abuses plant, But rather […]