HOWEVER exquisite we BEAUTY find, It satiates sense, and palls upon the mind: Brown bread as well as white must be for me; My motto ever is–VARIETY. THAT brisk brunette, with languid, sleepy eye, Delights my fancy; Can you tell me why? The reason ‘s plain enough:–she ‘s something new. The other mistress, long within […]

HOW weak is man! how changeable his mind! His promises are naught, too oft we find; I vowed (I hope in tolerable verse,) Again no idle story to rehearse. And whence this promise?–Not two days ago; I’m quite confounded; better I should know: A rhymer hear then, who himself can boast, Quite steady for–a minute […]

YOUR name with ev’ry pleasure here I place, The last effusions of my muse to grace. O charming Phillis! may the same extend Through time’s dark night: our praise together blend; To this we surely may pretend to aim Your acting and my rhymes attention claim. Long, long in mem’ry’s page your fame shall live; […]

[NOTE: See Chapters 111 & 112 from The Satyricon by Petronius Arbiter. DW] IF there’s a tale more common than the rest, The one I mean to give is such confessed. Why choose it then? you ask; at whose desire? Hast not enough already tuned thy lyre? What favour can thy MATRON now expect, Since […]

A STURGEON, once, a glutton famed was led To have for supper–all, except the head. With wond’rous glee he feasted on the fish; And quickly swallowed down the royal dish. O’ercharged, howe’er, his stomach soon gave way; And doctors were required without delay. THE danger imminent, his friends desired He’d settle ev’ry thing affairs required. […]

TWO lawyers to their cause so well adhered, A country justice quite confused appeared, By them the facts were rendered so obscure With which the truth remained he was not sure. At length, completely tired, two straws he sought Of diff’rent lengths, and to the parties brought. These in his hand he held:–the plaintiff drew […]

AXIOCHUS, a handsome youth of old, And Alcibiades, (both gay and bold,) So well agreed, they kept a beauteous belle, With whom by turns they equally would dwell. IT happened, one of them so nicely played, The fav’rite lass produced a little maid, Which both extolled, and each his own believed, Though doubtless one or […]

AS WILLIAM walking with his wife was seen, A man of rank admired her lovely mien. Who gave you such a charming fair? he cried, May I presume to kiss your beauteous bride? With all my heart, replied the humble swain, You’re welcome, sir:–I beg you’ll not refrain; She’s at your service: take the boon, […]

SICK, Alice grown, and fearing dire event, Some friend advised a servant should be sent Her confessor to bring and ease her mind;– Yes, she replied, to see him I’m inclined; Let father Andrew instantly be sought:– By him salvation usually I’m taught. A MESSENGER was told, without delay, To take, with rapid steps, the […]

PAINTER in Paphos and Cythera famed Depict, I pray, the absent Iris’ face. Thou hast not seen the lovely nymph I’ve named; The better for thy peace.–Then will I trace For thy instruction her transcendent grace. Begin with lily white and blushing rose, Take then the Loves and Graces… But what good Words, idle words? […]

WHEN Sister Jane, who had produced a child, In prayer and penance all her hours beguiled Her sister-nuns around the lattice pressed; On which the abbess thus her flock addressed: Live like our sister Jane, and bid adieu To worldly cares:–have better things in view. YES, they replied, we sage like her shall be, When […]

IF these gay tales give pleasure to the FAIR, The honour’s great conferred, I’m well aware; Yet, why suppose the sex my pages shun? Enough, if they condemn where follies run; Laugh in their sleeve at tricks they disapprove, And, false or true, a muscle never move. A playful jest can scarcely give offence: Who […]

PRONE, on my couch I calmly slept Against my wont. A little child Awoke me as he gently crept And beat my door. A tempest wild Was raging-dark and cold the night. “Have pity on my naked plight,” He begged, “and ope thy door.”–“Thy name?” I asked admitting him.–“The same “Anon I’ll tell, but first […]

IN ev’ry age, at Naples, we are told, Intrigue and gallantry reign uncontrolled; With beauteous objects in abundance blessed. No country round so many has possessed; Such fascinating charms the FAIR disclose, That irresistibly soft passion flows. ‘MONG these a belle, enchanting to behold, Was loved by one, of birth and store of gold; Minutolo […]

TO you, my friends, allow me to detail, The feats of monks in Catalonia’s vale, Where oft the holy fathers pow’rs displayed, And showed such charity to wife and maid, That o’er their minds sweet fascination reigned, And made them think, they Paradise had gained. SUCH characters oft preciously advise, And youthful easy female minds […]

TO charms and philters, secret spells and prayers, How many round attribute all their cares! In these howe’er I never can believe, And laugh at follies that so much deceive. Yet with the beauteous FAIR, ’tis very true, These WORDS, as SACRED VIRTUES, oft they view; The spell and philter wonders work in love Hearts […]

NEAR Rome, of yore, close to the Florence road, Was seen a humble innkeeper’s abode; Small sums were charged; few guests the night would stay; And these could seldom much afford to pay. A pleasing active partner had the host Her age not much ‘bove thirty at the most; Two children she her loving husband […]

A COUNTRYMAN, one day, his calf had lost, And, seeking it, a neighbouring forest crossed; The tallest tree that in the district grew, He climbed to get a more extensive view. Just then a lady with her lover came; The place was pleasing, both to spark and dame; Their mutual wishes, looks and eyes expressed, […]

HANS CARVEL took, when weak and late in life; A girl, with youth and beauteous charms to wife; And with her, num’rous troubles, cares and fears; For, scarcely one without the rest appears. Bab (such her name, and daughter of a knight) Was airy, buxom: formed for am’rous fight. Hans, holding jeers and cuckoldom in […]

WHEN Venus and Hypocrisy combine, Oft pranks are played that show a deep design; Men are but men, and friars full as weak: I’m not by Envy moved these truths to speak. Have you a sister, daughter, pretty wife? Beware the monks as you would guard your life; If in their snares a simple belle […]