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41 Works of Guy Wetmore Carryl

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Story type: Literature

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Side by side, on the avenue de la Grande Armee, stand the epicerie of Jean-Baptiste Caille and the salle de coiffure of Hippolyte Sergeot, and between these two there is a great gulf fixed, the which has come to be through the acerbity of Alexandrine Caille (according to Esperance Sergeot), though the duplicity of Esperance […]

A fisherman lived on the shore,(It’s a habit that fishers affect,)And his life was a hideous bore:He had nothing to do but collectContinual harvests of seaweed and shells,Which he stuck upon photograph frames,To sell to the guests in the summer hotelsWith the quite inappropriate names! He would wander along by the edgeOf the sea, and […]

His name was Aladdin.The clothes he was clad inProclaimed him an Arab at sight,And he had for a chumAn uncommonly rumOld afreet, six cubits in height.This person infernal,Who seemed so fraternal,At bottom was frankly a scamp:His future to sadden,He gave to AladdinA wonderful magical lamp. A marvel he dubbed it.He said if one rubbed itOne’s […]

In days of old the King of SaxeHad singular opinions,For with a weighty battle-axeHe brutalized his minions,And, when he’d nothing to employHis mind, he chose a village,And with an air of savage joyDelivered it to pillage. But what aroused within his breastA rage well-nigh primevalWas, most of all, his daughter, dressedIn fashion mediaeval:The gowns that […]

Matilda Maud Mackenzie frankly hadn’t any chin,Her hands were rough, her feet she turned invariably in;Her general form was German,By which I mean that youHer waist could not determineTo within a foot or two:And not only did she stammer,But she used the kind of grammarThat is called, for sake of euphony, askew. From what I […]

Fortunatus, a fisherman Dane,Set out on a sudden for Spain,Because, runs the story,He’d met with a hoaryMysterious sorcerer chap,Who, trouble to save him,Most thoughtfully gave himA magical traveling cap.I barely believe that the story is true,But here’s what that cap was reported to do. Suppose you were sitting at home,And you wished to see Paris […]

Without the slightest basisFor hypochondriasisA widow had forebodings which a cloud around her flung,And with expression cynicalFor half the day a clinicalThermometer she held beneath her tongue. Whene’er she read the papersShe suffered from the vapors,At every tale of malady or accident she’d groan;In every new and smart disease,From housemaid’s knee to heart disease,She recognized […]

A poet had a cat.There is nothing odd in that–(I might make a little pun about the Mews!)But what is really moreRemarkable, she woreA pair of pointed patent-leather shoes.And I doubt me greatly whetherE’er you heard the like of that:Pointed shoes of patent-leatherOn a cat! His time he used to passWriting sonnets, on the grass–(I […]

Albeit wholly penniless,Prince Charming wasn’t any lessConceited than a Croesus or a modern millionaire:Though often in necessity,No one would ever guess it. HeWas candidly insolvent, and he frankly didn’t care!Of the many debts he madeNot a one was ever paid,But no one ever pressed him to refund the borrowed gold:While he recklessly kept spending,People gladly […]

Though Philip the SecondOf France was reckonedNo coward, his breath came shortWhen they told him a dragonAs big as a wagonWas waiting below in the court!A dragon so long, and so wide, and so fat,That he couldn’t get in at the door to chat:The king couldn’t leave himOutside and grieve him,He had to receive himUpon […]

Miss Guinevere PlattWas so beautiful thatShe couldn’t remember the dayWhen one of her swainsHadn’t taken the painsTo send her a mammoth bouquet.And the postman had found,On the whole of his round,That no one received such a lotOf bulky epistlesAs, waiting his whistles,The beautiful Guinevere got! A significant signThat her charm was divineWas seen in society, […]

She has slid down the channelsOf history’s annalsDisguised as the child of a king,But that is a glibAnd iniquitous fib,For she never was any such thing:They called her the Fair One with Golden Locks,And it’s true she had lovers who swarmed in flocks,But the rest is ironic;Her business chronicWas selling hair-tonicBy bottle and box! From […]

Once on a time, long years ago(Just when I quite forget),Two maidens lived beside the Po,One blonde and one brunette.The blonde one’s character was mild,From morning until night she smiled,Whereas the one whose hair was brownDid little else than pine and frown.(I think one ought to draw the lineAt girls who always frown and pine!) […]

Of all the ill-fatedBoys ever createdYoung Jack was the wretchedest lad:An emphatic, erratic,Dogmatic fanaticWas foisted upon him as dad!From the time he could walk,And before he could talk,His wearisome training began,On a highly barbarian,Disciplinarian,Nearly TartareanPlan! He taught him some Raleigh,And some of Macaulay,Till all of “Horatius” he knew,And the drastic, sarcastic,Fantastic, scholasticPhilippics of “Junius,” too.He […]

A maiden from the Bosphorus,With eyes as bright as phosphorus,Once wed the wealthy bailiffOf the caliphOf Kelat.Though diligent and zealous, heBecame a slave to jealousy.(Considering her beauty,‘Twas his dutyTo be that!) When business would necessitateA journey, he would hesitate,But, fearing to disgust her,He would trust herWith his keys,Remarking to her prayerfully:“I beg you’ll use them […]

In Germany there lived an earlWho had a charming niece:And never gave the timid girlA single moment’s peace!Whatever low and menial taskHis fancy flitted through,He did not hesitate to askThat shrinking child to do.(I see with truly honest shame youAre blushing, and I do not blame you.A tale like this the feelings softens,And brings the […]

A worthy couple, man and wife,Dragged on a discontented life:The reason, I should state,That it was destitute of joys,Was that they had a dozen boysTo feed and educate,And nothing such patience demandsAs having twelve boys on your hands! For twenty years they tried their bestTo keep those urchins neatly dressedAnd teach them to be good,But […]

An excellent peasant,Of character pleasant,Once lived in a hut with his wife.He was cheerful and docile,But such an old fossilYou wouldn’t meet twice in your life.His notions were all without reason or rhyme,Such dullness in any one else were a crime,But the folly pig-headedTo which he was weddedWas so deep imbedded,it touched the sublime! He […]

Most worthy of praiseWere the virtuous waysOf Little Red Riding Hood’s Ma,And no one was everMore cautious and cleverThan Little Red Riding Hood’s Pa.They never misled,For they meant what they said,And would frequently say what they meant,And the way she should goThey were careful to show,And the way that they showed her, she went.For obedience […]

A man of kind and noble mindWas H. Gustavus Hyde.‘Twould be amiss to add to thisAt present, for he died,In full possession of his senses,The day before my tale commences. One half his gold his four-year-oldSon Paul was known to win,And Beatrix, whose age was six,For all the rest came in,Perceiving which, their Uncle Ben […]

The vainest girls in forty statesWere Gwendolyn and Gladys Gates;They warbled, slightly off the air,Romantic German songs,And each of them upon her hairEmployed the curling tongs,And each with ardor most intenseHer buxom figure laced,Until her wilful want of senseProcured a woeful waist:For bound to marry titled matesWere Gwendolyn and Gladys Gates. Yet, truth to tell, […]

A Boston man an ulster had,An ulster with a cape that fluttered:It smacked his face, and made him mad,And polyglot remarks he uttered:“I bought it at a bargain,” said he,“I’m tired of the thing already.” The wind that chanced to blow that dayWas easterly, and rather strong, too:It loved to see the galling wayThat clothes […]

A Caledonian piperWho was walking on the woldNearly stepped upon a viperRendered torpid by the cold;By the sight of her admonished,He forbore to plant his boot,But he showed he was astonishedBy the way he muttered “Hoot!” Now this simple-minded piperSuch a kindly nature hadThat he lifted up the viperAnd bestowed her in his plaid.“Though the […]

A peasant had a docile bear,A bear of manners pleasant,And all the love she had to spareShe lavished on the peasant:She proved her deep affection plainly(The method was a bit ungainly). The peasant had to dig and delve,And, as his class are apt to,When all the whistles blew at twelveHe ate his lunch, and napped, […]

A rooster once pursued a wormThat lingered not to brave him,To see his wretched victim squirmA pleasant thrill it gave him;He summoned all his kith and kin,They hastened up by legions,With quaint, expressive gurgles inTheir oesophageal regions. Just then a kind of glimmeringAttracting his attention,The worm became too small a thingFor more than passing mention:The […]

A certain fox had a Grecian noseAnd a beautiful tail. His friendsWere wont to say in a jesting wayA divinity shaped his ends.The fact is sad, but his foxship hadA fault we should all eschew:He was so deceived that he quite believedWhat he heard from friends was true. One day he found in a sheltered […]

A raven sat upon a tree,And not a word he spoke, forHis beak contained a piece of Brie,Or, maybe, it was Roquefort:We’ll make it any kind you please–At all events, it was a cheese. Beneath the tree’s umbrageous limbA hungry fox sat smiling;He saw the raven watching him,And spoke in words beguiling.“J’admire,” said he, “ton […]

A fisher was casting his flies in a brook,According to laws of such sciences,With a patented reel and a patented hookAnd a number of other appliances;And the thirty-fifth cast, which he vowed was the last(It was figured as close as a decimal),Brought suddenly out of the water a troutOf measurements infinitesimal. This fish had a […]

A gaunt and relentless wolf, possessedOf a quite insatiable thirst,Once paused at a stream to drink and rest,And found that, bound on a similar quest,A lamb had arrived there first. The lamb was a lamb of a garrulous mindAnd frivolity most extreme:In the fashion common to all his kind,He cantered in front and galloped behind.And […]

A woolly little terrier pupGave vent to yelps distressing,Whereat his mistress took him upAnd soothed him with caressing,And yet he was not in the leastWhat one would call a handsome beast. He might have been a Javanese,He might have been a Jap dog,And also neither one of these,But just a common lapdog,The kind that people […]

A bulrush stood on a river’s rim,And an oak that grew near byLooked down with cold hauteur on him,And addressed him this way: “Hi!”The rush was a proud patrician, andHe retorted, “Don’t you know,What the veriest boor should understand,That ‘Hi’ is low?” This cutting rebuke the oak ignored.He returned, “My slender friend,I will frankly state […]

There was an ant, a spinster ant,Whose virtues were so manyThat she became intolerantOf those who hadn’t any:She had a small and frugal mindAnd lived a life ascetic,Nor was her temperament the kindThat’s known as sympathetic. I skip details. Suffice to sayThat, knocking at her wicket,There chanced to come one autumn dayA common garden cricketSo […]

A metropolitan rat invitedHis country cousin in town to dine:The country cousin replied, “Delighted.”And signed himself, “Sincerely thine.”The town rat treated the country cousinTo half a dozenKinds of wine. He served him terrapin, kidneys devilled,And roasted partridge, and candied fruit;In Little Neck Clams at first they revelled,And then in Pommery, sec and brut;The country cousin […]

A woodcutter bought him a gander,Or at least that was what he supposed,As a matter of fact, ’twas a slanderAs a later occurrence disclosed;For they locked the bird up in the garretTo fatten, the while it grew old,And it laid there a twenty-two caratFine egg of the purest of gold! There was much unaffected rejoicingIn […]

Upon the shore, a mile or moreFrom traffic and confusion,An oyster dwelt, because he feltA longing for seclusion;Said he: “I love the stillness ofThis spot. It’s like a cloister.”(These words I quote because, you note,They rhyme so well with oyster.) A prying rat, believing thatShe needed change of diet,In search of such disturbed this much-To-be-desired […]

Reposing ‘neath some spreading trees,A populistic bumpkinAmused himself by offering theseReflections on a pumpkin:“I would not, if the choice were mine,Grow things like that upon a vine,For how imposing it would beIf pumpkins grew upon a tree.” Like other populists, you’ll note,Of views enthusiastic,He’d learned by heart, and said by roteA creed iconoclastic;And in his […]

O’er a small suburban boroughOnce an eagle used to fly,Making observations thoroughFrom his station in the sky,And presenting the appearanceOf an animated V,Like the gulls that lend coherenceUnto paintings of the sea. Looking downward at a church inThis attractive little shire,He beheld a smallish urchinShooting arrows at the spire;In a spirit of derision,“Look alive!” the […]

Once, on a time and in a placeConducive to malaria,There lived a member of the raceOf Rana Temporaria;Or, more concisely still, a frogInhabited a certain bog. A bull of Brobdingnagian size,Too proud for condescension,One morning chanced to cast his eyesUpon the frog I mention;And, being to the manner born,Surveyed him with a lofty scorn. Perceiving […]

Once a flock of stately peacocksPromenaded on a green,There were twenty-two or three cocks,Each as proud as seventeen,And a glance, however hasty,Showed their plumage to be tasty;Wheresoever one was placed, heWas a credit to the scene. Now their owner had a daughterWho, when people came to call,Used to say, “You’d reelly oughterSee them peacocks on […]

Once a turtle, finding plentyIn seclusion to bewitch,Lived a dolce far nienteKind of life within a ditch;Rivers had no charm for him,As he told his wife and daughter,“Though my friends are in the swim,Mud is thicker far than water.” One fine day, as was his habit,He was dozing in the sun,When a young and flippant […]

A farmer built around his cropA wall, and crowned his laborsBy placing glass upon the topTo lacerate his neighbors,Provided they at any timeShould feel disposed the wall to climb. He also drove some iron pegsSecurely in the coping,To tear the bare, defenceless legsOf brats who, upward groping,Might steal, despite the risk of fall,The grapes that […]