Address to An Employer Upon Demanding a Raise, or, The Battle of Manila Envelopes As Planned As Delivered I think you will admit, If you are not toosir, that the quality busy, sir, there is oneof my work during the other matter–in fact,last two years has been the truth of the mattersuch that my services […]

It was old John Mistletoe, we think, in his “Book of Deplorable Facts,” discussing the congenial topic of “Going to Bed” (or was it in his essay on “The Concinnity of Washerwomen?”) said something like this: Life passes by with deplorable rapidity. Post commutatorem sedet horologium terrificum, behind the commuter rideth the alarm clock, no […]

We often wonder whether people are really as human as they appear, or is it only our imagination? Everybody, we suggest, thinks of others as being excessively human, with all the frailties and crotchets appertaining to that curious condition. But each of us also (we are not dogmatic on this matter) seems to regard himself […]

I. PHILADELPHIA AN EARLY TRAIN The course of events has compelled me for several months to catch an early train at Broad Street three times a week. I call it an “early” train, but, of course, these matters are merely relative; 7:45 are the figures illuminated over the gateway–not so very precocious, perhaps; but quite […]

I I wonder if there is any other country where the death of a young poet is double-column front-page news? And if poets were able to proofread their own obits, I wonder if any two lines would have given Joyce Kilmer more honest pride than these: JOYCE KILMER, POET,IS KILLED IN ACTION which gave many […]

There died in New York, on February 11, 1918, one who perhaps as worthily as any man in any age represented the peculiar traits and charms of the book-lover, a man whose personal loveliness was only equalled by his unassuming modesty, a man who was an honour to the fine old profession of bookselling. There […]

We are going to tell the truth. It has been on our mind for some time. We are going to tell it exactly, without any balancing or trimming or crimped edges. We are weary of talking about trivialities and are going to come plump and plain to the adventures of our own mind. These are […]

It Is a curious thing that so many people only go into a bookshop when they happen to need some particular book. Do they never drop in for a little innocent carouse and refreshment? There are some knightly souls who even go so far as to make their visits to bookshops a kind of chivalrous […]

There is no way in which one can so surely arouse the suspicions of bankers as by trying to put some money in their hands. We went round to a near-by bank hoping to open an account. As we had formerly dealt with an uptown branch of the same institution, and as the cheque we […]

This Indenture between A. B., an innkeeper, organized and existing under the laws of good cooking, party of the first part, and C. D., party of the second part, witnesseth: That the said party of the first part, for and in consideration of the sum of $1.50, lawful money of the United States, paid by […]

(Roger Mifflin loquitur) I had a pleasant adventure to-day. A free verse poet came in to see me, wanted me to buy some copies of “The Pagan Anthology.” I looked over the book, to which he himself had contributed some pieces. I advised him to read Tennyson. I wish you could have seen his face. […]

George Snipe was an ardent book-lover, and sat in the smoking car in a state of suspended ecstasy. He had been invited out to Mandrake Park to visit the library of Mr. Genial Girth, the well-known collector of rare autographed books. Devoted amateur of literature as he was, George’s humble career rarely brought him into […]

(Delivered to Cain and Abel, the first graduating class of the Garden of Eden Normal School.) My young friends–It is a privilege to be permitted to address you this morning, for I am convinced that never in the world’s history did the age beckon with so eager a gesture to the young men on the […]

Once in a while, when the name of R. L. S. is mentioned in conversation, someone says to us: “Ah well, you’re one of the Stevenson idolators, aren’t you?” And this is said with a curious air of cynical superiority, as of one who has experienced all these things and is superbly tolerant of the […]

All day long you see them stand thigh-deep in the surf, fishing. Up on the beach each one has a large basket containing clams for bait, extra hooks and leaders, a little can of oil for the reel, and any particular doo-dads dear to the heart of the individual fisherman. And an old newspaper, all […]

Man, we suspect, is the only animal capable of persuading himself that his hardships are medicine to the soul, of flattering himself into a conviction that some mortal spasm was a fortifying discipline. Having just moved our household goods for the fourth time in four years, we now find ourself in the singular state of […]

I can not imagine any pleasant job so full of pangs, or any painful job so full of pleasures, as the task of conducting a newspaper column. The colyumist, when he begins his job, is disheartened because nobody notices it. He soon outgrows this, and is disheartened because too many people notice it, and he […]

Ligature of infancy, healing engine of emergency, base and mainstay of our civilization–we celebrate the safety pin. What would we do without safety pins? Is it not odd to think, looking about us on our fellowmen (bearded realtors, ejaculating poets, plump and ruddy policemen, even the cheerful dusky creature who runs the elevator and whistles […]

Across the cold moonlit landscapes, while good folk are at home curling their toes in the warm bottom of the bed, the Owl trains rumble with a gentle drone, neither fast nor slow. There are several Owl trains with which we have been familiar. One, rather aristocratic of its kind, is the caravan of sleeping […]

To those looking for an exhilarating vacation let us commend a week of “trouping” on one-night stands with a theatrical company, which mirthful experience has just been ours. We went along in the very lowly capacity of co-author, which placed us somewhat beneath the stage hands as far as dignity was concerned; and we flatter […]