On the East Side any day,When the street pianos playYou can see the children dancing witha rhythmic whirl and sway. All untaught their native grace,Joy in every grinning face,To the music they are gaily keepingperfect time and pace. But, infirm and aged crones,Do not risk your ancient bones;Your old nerves would suffer sadlyjarred and jolted […]

A tutor who tooted the fluteTried to teach two young tooters to toot.Said the two to the tutor,“Is it harder to toot, orTo tutor two tooters to toot?”

A kitten went a-walkingOne morning in July,And idly fell a-talkingWith a great big butterfly. The kitten’s tone was airy,The butterfly would scoff;When there came along a fairyWho whisked his wings right off. And then–for it is writtenFairies can do such things–Upon the startled kittenShe stuck the yellow wings. The kitten felt a quiver,She rose into […]

To Bob and Sue, who have ice-cream,Life is a glowing, halcyon dream,While Tom stands empty by;And says, “Gee! fellers, ain’t it prime?Say, I had ice-cream too, one time,And it was great! Oh, my!” Ah, beaux and belles at rout or ball,Does ice-cream on your palate pall?Is it to you no treat?You never ate it from […]

When Autumn brings around the dayDevoted to thanksgiving,The children scream with laughter gayFor very joy of living. And every sort of escapadeReceives their commendation;But all agree a masqueradeIs best for celebration. The boys and girls all swarm aroundThe crowd is hourly growing;Straw hatted and grotesquely gowned,–With tin horns loudly blowing. But dear old dames with […]

These boisterous boys, with bang and fizz,They make such noisy noise;But, then, perhaps the reason is,They are such boysy boys. The girls as well,–from early mornThey shoot and shoot and shoot;And on a trumpet or a hornThey toot and toot and toot. But you, whose locks are bleached by Time,(Or by the Chemist’s aid),Heed my […]

The Little Mothers of the richAre really works of art,They are dressed up to such a pitchIn frocks so fine and smart. They do not have to take the chargeOf baby boys or girls;No, they have dolls exceeding largeWith silky, flaxen curls. Ah, Mothers in Society,Accept this reasoning sound;Dolls far less troublesome would beThan children […]

Little Bo-Peep, will you be mine?I want you for my Valentine.You are my choice of all the girls,With your blushing cheeks and your fluttering curls,With your ribbons gay and your kirtle neat,None other is so fair and sweet.Little Bo-Peep, let’s run away,And marry each other on Midsummer Day;And ever to you I’ll be fond and […]

There lived in ancient Scribbletown a wise old writer-man,Whose name was Homer Cicero Demosthenes McCann.He’d written treatises and themes till, “For a change,” he said,“I think I’ll write a children’s book before I go to bed.” He pulled down all his musty tomes in Latin and in Greek;Consulted cyclopaedias and manuscripts antique,Essays in Anthropology, studies […]

We’re going to have the mostest fun!It’s going to be a club;And no one can belong to itBut Dot and me and Bub. We thought we’d have a Reading Club,But couldn’t ’cause, you see,Not one of us knows how to read–Not Dot nor Bub nor me. And then we said a Sewing Club,But thought we’d […]

Polly’s patchwork–oh, dear me!–Truly is a sight to see.Rumpled, crumpled, soiled, and frayed–Will the quilt be ever made?See the stitches yawning wide–Can it be that Polly tried? Some are right and some are wrong,Some too short and some too long,Some too loose and some too tight;Grimy smudges on the white,And a tiny spot of red,Where […]

Oh! the King of KanoodledumAnd the King of Kanoodledee,They went to seaIn a jigamaree–A full-rigged jigamaree. And one king couldn’t steer,And the other, no more could he;So they both upsetAnd they both got wet,As wet as wet could be. And one king couldn’t swimAnd the other, he couldn’t, too;So they had to float,While their empty […]

This is the Queen of Nonsense Land,She wears her bonnet on her hand;She carpets her ceilings and frescos her floors,She eats on her windows and sleeps on her doors.Oh, ho! Oh, ho! to think there could beA lady so silly-down-dilly as she! She goes for a walk on an ocean wave,She fishes for cats in […]

There once was a happy HyenaWho played on an old concertina.He dressed very well,And in his lapelHe carelessly stuck a verbena.

‘Twas long ago,–a year or so,–In a barnyard by the sea,That an old hen lived whom you may knowBy the name of Fiddle-de-dee.She scratched around in the sand all day,For a lively old hen was she. And then do you know, it happened this wayIn that barnyard by the sea;A great wise owl came down […]

There once was a corpulent carpWho wanted to play on a harp,But to his chagrinSo short was his finThat he couldn’t reach up to C sharp.

Old Father Time, one dayIn his study, so they say,Was indulging in a surreptitious nap,When from his drowsy dreamsHe was wakened, as it seems,By a timid but persistent little rap. He yawned and rubbed his eyesIn indolent surprise,Then slowly he arose from where he sat;He opened wide his door,And nearly tumbled o’erThe figure that stood […]

“There’s a train at 4.04,” said Miss Jenny;“Four tickets I’ll take. Have you any?”Said the man at the door:“Not four for 4.04,For four for 4.04 is too many.”

This figure here before you is a Macaroni Man,Who is built, as you may notice, on a most ingenious plan.His skeleton, I beg to state, is made of hairpins three,Which are bent and curved and twisted to a marvellous degree.His coat-sleeves and his trouser-legs, his head and eke his waistAre made of superfine imported macaroni […]

Prince Curlilocks remarked one dayTo Princess Dimplecheek,“I haven’t had a real good playFor more than ‘most a week.” Said Princess Dimplecheek, “My dear,Your majesty forgets–This morning we played grenadierWith grandpa’s epaulets. “And yesterday we sailed to Spain–We both were pirates bold,And braved the wild and raging mainTo seek for hidden gold.” “True,” said the prince; […]