“The delay granted by the weakness and good nature of our judges is responsible for half the murders.”–Daily Newspaper. Delay responsible? Why, then; my friend,Impeach Delay and you will make an end.Thrust vile Delay in jail and let it rotFor doing all the things that it should not.Put not good-natured judges under bond,But make Delay […]

If the wicked gods were willing(Pray it never may be true!)That a universal chillingShould ensueOf the sentiment of loving,–If they made a great undoingOf the plan of turtle-doving,Then farewell all poet-lore,Evermore.If there were no more of billingThere would be no more of cooingAnd we all should be but owls–Lonely fowlsBlinking wonderfully wise,With our great round […]

Two villains of the highest rankSet out one night to rob a bank.They found the building, looked it o’er,Each window noted, tried each door,Scanned carefully the lidded holeFor minstrels to cascade the coal–In short, examined five-and-twentyGood paths from poverty to plenty.But all were sealed, they saw full soon,Against the minions of the moon.“Enough,” said one: […]

Theosophists are about to build a “Temple for the revival of the Mysteries of Antiquity.”–Vide the Newspapers, passim. Each to his taste: some men prefer to playAt mystery, as others at piquet.Some sit in mystic meditation; someParade the street with tambourine and drum.One studies to decipher ancient loreWhich, proving stuff, he studies all the more;Another […]

Of Hans Pietro Shanahan(Who was a most ingenious man)The Muse of History recordsThat he’d get drunk as twenty lords. He’d get so truly drunk that menStood by to marvel at him whenHis slow advance along the streetWas but a vain cycloidal feat. And when ’twas fated that he fallWith a wide geographical sprawl,They signified assent […]

Father! whose hard and cruel lawIs part of thy compassion’s plan,Thy works presumptuously we scanFor what the prophets say they saw. Unbidden still the awful slopeWalling us in we climb to gainAssurance of the shining plainThat faith has certified to hope. In vain!–beyond the circling hillThe shadow and the cloud abide.Subdue the doubt, our spirits […]

It is a politician man–He draweth near his end,And friends weep round that partisan,Of every man the friend. Between the Known and the UnknownHe lieth on the strand;The light upon the sea is thrownThat lay upon the land. It shineth in his glazing eye,It burneth on his face;God send that when we come to dieWe […]

How well this man unfolded to our viewThe world’s beliefs of Death and Heaven and Hell–This man whose own convictions none could tell,Nor if his maze of reason had a clew.Dogmas he wrote for daily bread, but knewThe fair philosophies of doubt so wellThat while we listened to his words there fellSome that were strangely […]

When Admonition’s hand essaysOur greed to curse,Its lifted finger oft displaysOur missing purse.

A famous journalist, who longHad told the great unheaded throngWhate’er they thought, by day or night.Was true as Holy Writ, and right,Was caught in–well, on second thought,It is enough that he was caught,And being thrown in jail becameThe fuel of a public flame. “Vox populi vox Dei,” saidThe jailer. Inxling bent his headWithout remark: that […]

O Liberty, God-gifted–Young and immortal maid–In your high hand uplifted;The torch declares your trade. Its crimson menace, flamingUpon the sea and shore,Is, trumpet-like, proclaimingThat Law shall be no more. Austere incendiary,We’re blinking in the light;Where is your customaryGrenade of dynamite? Where are your staves and switchesFor men of gentle birth?Your mask and dirk for riches?Your […]

Tuckerton Tamerlane Morey MahoshIs a statesman of world-wide fame,With a notable knack at rhetorical boshTo glorify somebody’s name–Somebody chosen by Tuckerton’s mastersTo succor the country from divers disastersPortentous to Mr. Mahosh. Percy O’Halloran Tarpy CabeeIs in the political swim.He cares not a button for men, not he:Great principles captivate him–Principles cleverly cut out and fittedTo […]

Fear not in any tongue to callUpon the Lord–He’s skilled in all.But if He answereth my pleaHe speaketh one unknown to me.

Because from Folly’s lips you gotSome babbled mandate to subdueThe realm of Common Sense, and youMade promise and considered not– Because you strike a random blowAt what you do not understand,And beckon with a friendly handTo something that you do not know, I hold no speech of your desert,Nor answer with porrected shieldThe wooden weapon […]

O nonsense, parson–tell me not they thriveAnd jubilate who follow your dictation.The good are the unhappiest lot alive–I know they are from careful observation.If freedom from the terrors of damnationLengthens the visage like a telescope,And lacrymation is a sign of hope,Then I’ll continue, in my dreadful plight,To tread the dusky paths of sin, and gropeContentedly […]

‘Twas a serious person with locks of grayAnd a figure like a crescent;His gravity, clearly, had come to stay,But his smile was evanescent. He stood and conversed with a neighbor, andWith (likewise) a high falsetto;And he stabbed his forefinger into his handAs if it had been a stiletto. His words, like the notes of a […]

We heard a song-bird trilling–‘T was but a night ago.Such rapture he was rillingAs only we could know. This morning he is flingingHis music from the tree,But something in the singingIs not the same to me. His inspiration fails him,Or he has lost his skill.Nanine, Nanine, what ails himThat he should sing so ill? Nanine […]

“O, I’m the Unaverage Man,But you never have heard of me,For my brother, the Average Man, outranMy fame with rapiditee,And I’m sunk in Oblivion’s sea,But my bully big brother the world can spanWith his wide notorietee.I do everything that I canTo make ’em attend to me,But the papers ignore the Unaverage ManWith a weird uniformitee.” […]

The polecat, sovereign of its native wood,Dashes damnation upon bad and good;The health of all the upas trees impairsBy exhalations deadlier than theirs;Poisons the rattlesnake and warts the toad–The creeks go rotten and the rocks corrode!She shakes o’er breathless hill and shrinking daleThe horrid aspergillus of her tail!From every saturated hair, till dry,The spargent fragrances […]

For a Proposed Monument in Washington to Him who Made it Beautiful. Erected to “Boss” Shepherd by the dearGood folk he lived and moved among in peace–Guarded on either hand by the police,With soldiers in his front and in his rear.