Here is the queer story of David William Duck, related by himself. Duck is an old man living in Aurora, Illinois, where he is universally respected. He is commonly known, however, as “Dead Duck.” “In the autumn of 1866 I was a private soldier of the Eighteenth Infantry. My company was one of those stationed […]

Having murdered his brother-in-law, Orrin Brower of Kentucky was a fugitive from justice. From the county jail where he had been confined to await his trial he had escaped by knocking down his jailer with an iron bar, robbing him of his keys and, opening the outer door, walking out into the night. The jailer […]

An old man named Daniel Baker, living near Lebanon, Iowa, was suspected by his neighbors of having murdered a peddler who had obtained permission to pass the night at his house. This was in 1853, when peddling was more common in the Western country than it is now, and was attended with considerable danger. The […]

Connecting Readyville and Woodbury was a good, hard turnpike nine or ten miles long. Readyville was an outpost of the Federal army at Murfreesboro; Woodbury had the same relation to the Confederate army at Tullahoma. For months after the big battle at Stone River these outposts were in constant quarrel, most of the trouble occurring, […]

In the year 1861 Barr Lassiter, a young man of twenty-two, lived with his parents and an elder sister near Carthage, Tennessee. The family were in somewhat humble circumstances, subsisting by cultivation of a small and not very fertile plantation. Owning no slaves, they were not rated among “the best people” of their neighborhood; but […]

This is a story told by the late Benson Foley of San Francisco: “In the summer of 1881 I met a man named James H. Conway, a resident of Franklin, Tennessee. He was visiting San Francisco for his health, deluded man, and brought me a note of introduction from Mr. Lawrence Barting. I had known […]

A Philosopher seeing a Fool beating his Donkey, said: “Abstain, my son, abstain, I implore. Those who resort to violence shall suffer from violence.” “That,” said the Fool, diligently belabouring the animal, “is what I’m trying to teach this beast–which has kicked me.” “Doubtless,” said the Philosopher to himself, as he walked away, “the wisdom […]

During a shower of rain the Keeper of a Zoological garden observed a Man of Principle crouching beneath the belly of the ostrich, which had drawn itself up to its full height to sleep. “Why, my dear sir,” said the Keeper, “if you fear to get wet, you’d better creep into the pouch of yonder […]

A Kind-Hearted Physician sitting at the bedside of a patient afflicted with an incurable and painful disease, heard a noise behind him, and turning saw a cat laughing at the feeble efforts of a wounded mouse to drag itself out of the room. “You cruel beast!” cried he. “Why don’t you kill it at once, […]

A Man was hanged by the neck until he was dead. “Whence do you come?” Saint Peter asked when the Man presented himself at the gate of Heaven. “From California,” replied the applicant. “Enter, my son, enter; you bring joyous tidings.” When the Man had vanished inside, Saint Peter took his memorandum-tablet and made the […]

A Man that owned a fine Dog, and by a careful selection of its mate had bred a number of animals but a little lower than the angels, fell in love with his washerwoman, married her, and reared a family of dolts. “Alas!” he exclaimed, contemplating the melancholy result, “had I but chosen a mate […]

Some White Christians engaged in driving Chinese Heathens out of an American town found a newspaper published in Peking in the Chinese tongue, and compelled one of their victims to translate an editorial. It turned out to be an appeal to the people of the Province of Pang Ki to drive the foreign devils out […]

A Robber who had plundered a Merchant of one thousand pieces of gold was taken before the Cadi, who asked him if he had anything to say why he should not be decapitated. “Your Honour,” said the Robber, “I could do no otherwise than take the money, for Allah made me that way.” “Your defence […]

A Kangaroo hopping awkwardly along with some bulky object concealed in her pouch met a Zebra, and desirous of keeping his attention upon himself, said: “Your costume looks as if you might have come out of the penitentiary.” “Appearances are deceitful,” replied the Zebra, smiling in the consciousness of a more insupportable wit, “or I […]

A Lion seeing a Poodle fell into laughter at the ridiculous spectacle. “Who ever saw so small a beast?” he said. “It is very true,” said the Poodle, with austere dignity, “that I am small; but, sir, I beg to observe that I am all dog.”

A Great Philanthropist who had thought of himself in connection with the Presidency and had introduced a bill into Congress requiring the Government to loan every voter all the money that he needed, on his personal security, was explaining to a Sunday-school at a railway station how much he had done for the country, when […]

A Wicked Old Man finding himself ill sent for a Physician, who prescribed for him and went away. Then the Wicked Old Man sent for another Physician, saying nothing of the first, and an entirely different treatment was ordered. This continued for some weeks, the physicians visiting him on alternate days and treating him for […]

“Good-Morning, my friend,” said Alarm to Pride; “how are you this morning?” “Very tired,” replied Pride, seating himself on a stone by the wayside and mopping his steaming brow. “The politicians are wearing me out by pointing to their dirty records with me, when they could as well use a stick.” Alarm sighed sympathetically, and […]

A Rich Woman having returned from abroad disembarked at the foot of Knee- deep Street, and was about to walk to her hotel through the mud. “Madam,” said a Policeman, “I cannot permit you to do that; you would soil your shoes and stockings.” “Oh, that is of no importance, really,” replied the Rich Woman, […]

Meeting a fat and patriotic Statesman on his way to Washington to beseech the President for an office, an idle Tramp accosted him and begged twenty- five cents with which to buy a suit of clothes. “Melancholy wreck,” said the Statesman, “what brought you to this state of degradation? Liquor, I suppose.” “I am temperate […]