I know very little about the Stock Exchange. I know, of course, that stockbrokers wear very shiny top-hats, which they remove when they sing “God Save the King,” as they invariably do in a crisis. When they go out to lunch, the younger ones leave their top-hats behind them, and take the air with plastered […]

MR PAUL SAMWAYS was in a mood of deep depression. The artistic temperament is peculiarly subject to these moods, but in Paul’s case there was reason why he should take a gloomy view of things. His masterpiece, “The Shot Tower from Battersea Bridge,” together with the companion picture, “Battersea Bridge from the Shot Tower,” had […]

The office was at its busiest, for it was Friday afternoon. John Blunt leant back in his comfortable chair and toyed with the key of the safe, while he tried to realize his new position. He, John Blunt, was junior partner in the great London firm of Macnaughton, Macnaughton, Macnaughton, Macnaughton & Macnaughton! He closed […]

“May I look at my watch?” I asked my partner, breaking a silence which had lasted from the beginning of the waltz. “Oh, HAVE you got a watch?” she drawled. “How exciting!” “I wasn’t going to show it to you,” I said, “But I always think it looks so bad for a man to remove […]

My omnibus left the broad and easy way which leads to Victoria Station and plunged into the strait and narrow paths which land you into the river at Vauxhall if you aren’t careful, and I peered over the back to have another look at its number. The road-mending season is in full swing now, but […]

I WAS in the lounge when I made her acquaintance, enjoying a pipe after tea, and perhaps–I don’t know–closing my eyes now and then. “Would you like to see my shells?” she asked suddenly. I woke up and looked at her. She was about seven years old, pretty, dark, and very much at ease. “I […]

I.–A TWICE TOLD TALE “Is that you, uncle?” said a voice from the nursery, as I hung my coat up in the hall. “I’ve only got my skin on, but you can come up.” However, she was sitting up in bed with her nightgown on when I found her. “I was having my bath when […]

The most important article of furniture in any room is the fireplace. For half the year we sit round it, warming ourselves at its heat; for the other half of the year we continue to sit round it, moved thereto by habit and the position of the chairs. Yet how many people choose their house […]

Mr Levinski, the famous actor-manager, dragged himself from beneath the car, took the snow out of his mouth, and swore heartily. Mortal men are liable to motor accidents; even kings’ cars have backfired; but it seems strange that actor-managers are not specially exempt from these occurrences. Mr Levinski was not only angry; he was also […]

[FOREWORD. Margery wishes me to publish the following correspondence, which has recently passed between us. It occurs to me that the name under which I appear in it may perhaps need explanation. I hate explanations, but here it is. When Margery was eight months old, she was taught to call me “Uncle.” I must suppose […]

I When Margery was three months old I wrote a letter to her mother: Dear Madam,–If you have a copy in Class D at 1/10d. net, I shall be glad to hear from you. I am, ~The Baby’s Uncle.~ On Tuesday I got an answer by the morning post: Dear Sir,–In reply to yours: How […]

The cabinet, or whatever I am to call it, has looked stolidly at me from the corner of the library for years. It is nothing more than a row of pigeon-holes in which I keep my secret papers. At least, the man who sold it to me recommended it for this purpose, dwelling lovingly as […]

I.–TAKING A CALL “MAY I come in?” said Miss Middleton. I looked up from my book and stared at her in amazement. “Hullo,” I said. “Hullo,” said Miss Middleton doubtfully. “Are you going to have tea with me?” “That’s what I was wondering all the way up.” “It’s all ready; in fact, I’ve nearly finished. […]

Outside in the street the rain fell pitilessly, but inside the Children’s Shop all was warmth and brightness. Happy young people of all ages pressed along, and I had no sooner opened the door than I was received into the eager stream of shoppers and hurried away to Fairyland. A slight block at one corner […]

Margery has a passion for writing just now. I can see nothing in it myself, but if people will write I suppose you can’t stop them. “Will you just lend me your pencil?” she asked. “Remind me to give you a hundred pencils some time,” I said as I took it out, “and then you’ll […]

“Is that you, uncle?” said a voice from the nursery, as I hung my coat up in the hall. “I’ve only got my skin on, but you can come up.” However, she was sitting up in bed with her nightgown on when I found her. “I was having my bath when you came,” she explained. […]

[“In the afternoon they came unto a landIn which it seemed always afternoon.”] I am like Napoleon in that I can go to sleep at any moment; I am unlike him (I believe) in that I am always doing so. One makes no apology for doing so on Sunday afternoon; the apology indeed should come […]

“In conversation,” said somebody (I think it was my grandfather), “there should always be a give and take. The ball must be kept rolling.” If he had ever had a niece two years old, I don’t think he would have bothered. “What’s ‘at?” said Margery, pointing suddenly. “That,” I said, stroking it, “is dear uncle’s […]

We don’t know his real name, but we have decided to call him “Arthur” (“Sir Arthur,” I suppose he would be). He stands in bronze upon the chimney-piece, and in his right hand is a javelin; this makes him a very dangerous person. Opposite him, but behind the clock (Coward!), stands the other fellow, similarly […]

Everything promised well for my week-end with Charles. The weather was warm and sunny, I was bringing my golf clubs down with me, and I had just discovered (and meant to put into practice) an entirely new stance which made it impossible to miss the object ball. It was this that I was explaining to […]