"According To Gunter"
by
Old Gunter was going home t’other night with a very heavy “turkey on”–about a forty-four pounder. Gunter accused the pavements of being icy, and down he came– kerchug! A “young lady” coming along, fidgetting and finiking, she made a very sudden and opposite ricochet, on seeing Gunter feeling the ground, and making abortive attempts to “riz.” Gunter’s gallantry was “up;” he knew his own weakness, and saw the difficulty with the “young lady;” so making a very determinate effort to get on his pins, Gunter elevated his head and then his voice, and says he: “My de-dea-dear ma’m, do-do-don’t pu-pu-put yourself out of th-th-the way, on my account!” Tableaux–“young lady” quick-step, and Gunter playing all-fours in the mud!