FullReads

Arrah, where were you, Murthagh, that beautiful day?–
Or how came it your riverence was laid on the shelf,
When that poor craythur, Bobby–as you were away–
Had to make twice as big a Tomfool of himself.

Troth, it wasn’t at all civil to lave in the lurch
A boy so deserving your tindhr’est affection:–
Too such iligant Siamase twins of the Church,
As Bob and yourself, ne’er should cut the connection.

If thus in two different directions you pull,
‘Faith, they’ll swear that yourself and your riverend brother
Are like those quare foxes, in Gregory’s Bull,
Whose tails were joined one way, while they looktanother![1]

Och blest be he, whosomdever he be,
That helpt soft Magee to that Bull of a Letther!
Not even my own self, tho’ I sometimes make free
At such bull-manufacture, could make him a betther.

To be sure, when a lad takes to forgin‘, this way,
‘Tis a thrick he’s much timpted to carry on gayly;
Till, at last, his “injanious devices,”[2]
Show him up, not at Exether Hall, but the Ould Bailey.

That parsons should forge thus appears mighty odd,
And (as if somethin’ “odd” in their names, too, must be,)
One forger, of ould, was a riverend Dod,
“While a riverend Todd’s now his match, to a T.[3]

But, no matther who did it all blessin’s betide him,
For dishin’ up Bob, in a manner so nate;
And there wanted but you, Murthagh ‘vourneen, beside him,
To make the whole grand dish of bull-calf complate.

[1] “You will increase the enmity with which they are regarded by their associates in heresy, thus tying these foxes by the tails, that their faces may tend in opposite directions.”–Bob’s Bull read, at Exeter Hall, July 14.

[2] “An ingenious device of my learned friend.”–Bob’s Letter to Standard.

[3] Had I consulted only my own wishes, I should not have allowed this hasty at tack on Dr. Todd to have made its appearance in this Collection; being now fully convinced that the charge brought against that reverend gentleman of intending to pass off as genuine his famous mock Papal Letter was altogether unfounded. Finding it to be the wish, however, of my reverend friend–as I am now glad to be permitted to call him–that both the wrong and the reparation, the Ode and, the Palinode, should be thus placed in juxtaposition, I have thought it but due to him, to comply with his request.