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WHAT a blessed era in the world’s history that was when the ladies had no nerves! Alas! I was born too late instead of too early, as the complaint of some is. I am cursed with nerves, and, as a consequence, am ever and anon distressed with nervous fears of some direful calamity or painful affliction. I am a simpleton for this, I know; but then, how can I help it? I try to be a woman of sense, but my nerves are too delicately strung. Reason is not sufficient to subdue the fears of impending evil that too often haunt me.

It would not be so bad with me, if I did not find so many good souls ready to add fuel to the flames of my fears. One of my most horrible apprehensions, since I have been old enough to think about it, has been of that dreadful disease, cancer. I am sure I shall die of it,–or, if not, some time in life have to endure a frightful operation for its removal.

I have had a dull, and sometimes an acute pain in one of my breasts, for some years. I am sure it is a cancer forming, though my husband always ridicules my fears. A few days ago a lady called in to see me. The pain had been troubling me, and I felt nervous and depressed.

“You don’t look well,” said my visitor.

“I am not very well,” I replied.

“Nothing serious, I hope?”

“I am afraid there is, Mrs. A–” I looked gloomy, I suppose, for I felt so.

“You really alarm me. What can be the matter?”

“I don’t know that I have ever mentioned it to you, but I have, for a long time, had a pain in my left breast, where I once had a gathering, and in which hard lumps have ever since remained. These have increased in size, of late, and I am now confirmed in my fears that a cancer is forming.”

“Bless me!” And my visitor lifted both hands and eyes. “What kind of a pain is it?”

“A dull, aching pain, with occasional stitches running out from one spot, as if roots were forming.”

“Just the very kind of pain that Mrs. N–had for some months before the doctors pronounced her affection cancer. You know Mrs. N–?”

“Not personally. I have heard of her.”

“You know she had one of her breasts taken off?”

“Had she?” I asked, in a husky voice. I had horrible feelings.

“Oh, yes!” My visitor spoke with animation.

“She had an operation performed about six months ago. It was dreadful! Poor soul!”

My blood fairly curdled; but my visitor did not notice the effect of her words.

“How long did the operation last?” I ventured to inquire.

“Half an hour.”

“Half an hour! So long?”

“Yes; it was a full half hour from the time the first incision was made until the last little artery was taken up.”

“Horrible! horrible!” I ejaculated, closing my eyes, and shuddering.

“If so horrible to think of, what must it be in reality?” said my thoughtless visitor. “If it were my case, I would prefer death. But Mrs. N–is not an ordinary woman. She possesses unusual fortitude, and would brave any thing for the sake of her husband and children. It took even her, however, a long time to make up her mind to have the operation performed; and it was only when she was satisfied that further delay would endanger her life, that she consented to have it done. I saw her just the day before; she looked exceedingly pale, and said but little. A very intimate friend was with her, whom I was surprised to hear talk to her in the liveliest manner, upon subjects of the most ordinary interest. She was relating a very amusing story which she had read; when I entered, and was laughing at the incidents. Even Mrs. N–smiled. It seemed to me very much out of place, and really a mockery to the poor creature; it was downright cruel. How any one could do so I cannot imagine. ‘My dear madam,’ I said as soon as I could get a chance to speak to her, ‘how do you feel? I am grieved to death at the dreadful operation you will have to go through. But you must bear it bravely; it will soon be over.’ She thanked me with tears in her eyes for my kind sympathies, and said that she hoped she would be sustained through the severe trial. Before I could get a chance to reply, her friend broke in with some nonsensical stuff that made poor Mrs. N–laugh in spite of herself, even though the tears were glistening on her eyelashes. I felt really shocked. And then she ran on in the wildest strain you ever heard, turning even the most serious remark I could make into fun. And, would you believe it? she treated with levity the operation itself whenever I alluded to it, and said that it was nothing to fear–a little smarting and a little pain, but not so bad as a bad toothache, she would wager a dollar.